For Every Lagosian Who Lives On The Mainland & Works On The Island

October 15, 2019

Lagos is an insanely stressful place — it was recently (and deservedly) named one of the least liveable cities in the world. Well, some people in this same Lagos have it a lot worse than others, specifically those who live on the mainland and have to go to work on the island.

This post is dedicated to those who endure this hellish commute.

You don’t know what good night sleep means

8 hours of sleep? What manner of sorcery is that? When you live on the mainland and work on the island, be grateful if you get a solid 4 hours. Seriously, at what point, between getting home in the middle of the night and needing to be awake by 4:30am, are you supposed to actually crash?

You never know what time you’re getting anywhere

Even if you leave your house at the exact same time every day, you can never know when you’re going to arrive at work. Some days, you’re just a minute away from being fired for lateness; and other days, you’re so early you might as well pick up the broom and start sweeping.

You understand the value of a few minutes

No one understands the impact a few minutes can have more than a Lagosian who makes this commute on a daily basis. While your boss might not get it, you know that the difference between hitting the road by 5:20pm and waiting until 5:30pm could be up to an extra hour in traffic.

The rain is your sworn enemy

Not that this journey needed an extra reason to stress you, but you know that once rain is thrown into the mix, your life becomes a nightmare. It only takes a light drizzle for the Island to look like something out of Noah’s Ark, and that adds at least one extra hour to a trip that already took three.

You spend more time on the road than your house

Whenever it’s time to pay your rent, you ask yourself if it’s really even worth it. Considering the fact that your spend more time on the road than you do in the damn house, you can’t help but wonder if you shouldn’t just focus all that money on turning your car into a part-time bedroom.

You hate when people advise you to move to the island

The only thing that annoys your more than the traffic you face every other day are the cocky island dwellers that just love to advise you to move over to their side of the bridge. You’d think they were giving out houses for free, and you’re the one that just likes suffering.

Nothing excites your more than a traffic-free trip

Few things make you genuinely happier than leaving work and seeing a completely traffic-free road. And since it happens so infrequently, it always feels like a minor miracle. If that euphoric feeling could be packaged and sold, it would very easily be the next big drug.

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