So You Think Your Landlord Is Mad?

June 17, 2019

So you think your landlord is mad? Just because she told everyone in your building to put their generators off at midnight or else she’ll seize it? Or because he’ll rather engage in one on one combat with NEPA officials than pay his bills?

As far as these six people are concerned, your landlord might be mad, but theirs are madder.

“It was worse than living with my parents”

I moved to Lagos on short notice, so I was desperate to get an apartment quickly. Ended up renting the BQ of this woman’s house. Worst year of my life. Anytime I stayed out later than 11 pm she’ll use another padlock to lock her gate and I’d have to crash at a friend’s house. It was worse than living with my parents. She’d quiz all my visitors and even refuse to let some into the compound. When I was moving out I didn’t even tell her, just left quietly one night.

Femi, 27

“My landlord was just a bastard”

My landlord was just a bastard. I don’t know how I stayed in that house for two years. I’ve never done the math but I’m pretty sure that in those two years, he collected double of what I paid for my rent with fraudulent bills. Today the borehole is bad, tomorrow NEPA people said we should pay this. Sometimes he didn’t even bother looking for an excuse he’ll just say the money is for maintenance. And if you don’t pay he’ll cut off your water and light.

Dami, 27

“She used to ration our water”

My landlady used to ration water for no fucking reason. The switch to the pump was in her house and she used to pick and choose when she’ll pump water. I don’t know if she thought the water could finish from the ground or if she was just being cheap with her PHCN bills. Sometimes we won’t have water for 2 days just because this woman doesn’t want to pump water. She used to stay in the house mostly on weekends and that’s when she’ll pump water. When she came around during the week she’ll refuse to pump water.

Doyin, 26

“He was harassing my girlfriend”

There was this one landlord I had who used to harass my girlfriend. It was so bad she had to stop coming over. When he realized he was never going to be able to woo her, he became hostile towards both of us. I don’t know how he always knew when she was around, but when she was he’ll come banging at my door about a non-issue. One time it was that my generator was causing noise. Like three other people’s generators were on o but it was my own that was causing noise.

Dimeji, 25

“He was flattening my car tires”

I still don’t have proof of this but I’m pretty sure my landlord used to let the air out of my tires. There was very limited parking space and I used to close early. He had a spot reserved for himself but he used to come back by like midnight. It made no sense to me to park on the street when there was space in the house so I parked in his. At first, when he came back he’ll rake outside my door for like an hour, that I should come and move my car. I always ignored him. One day he stopped and I started waking up to a flat tire every day. Even after I stopped parking in his spot.

Nora, 29

“He let strangers into my house”

I made the tragic mistake of letting an old landlord know I wasn’t going to renew my rent for the next year, months before the one I had paid was to expire. I’d come home and have this feeling that someone had entered my house. Little little things will be out of place. Turned out the man was showing the apartment I was still living in, to potential tenants when I went to work. I changed the locks and when I was moving out he refused to refund my caution fee because I had the ‘effrontery’ to change locks in his house.

Peter, 26

You'll like this

October 28, 2019

It’s Cruch Time. View this email in your browser 26 – 02 – 2019 This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things leading up to the 2019 General Elections, and why they matter. 5pm. Every Monday( oopsies 😊). Stay woke.  IT’S 10 DAYS TO THE GOVERNORSHIP ELECTIONS. And you’re getting this dispatch […]

January 6, 2020

In a land of dust, and time of ashy skin, the fate of your social clout rests on the type of presents you get your friends…the name: thoughtfulness. Here are five thoughtful gifts to make your friends go: “who send you message?” Cold Medicine With all the dust in the air, everyone is either sneezing […]

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 30, 2020

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who’s been cheating on her husband for the past year. She talks about their total lack of sexual chemistry and why she feels no guilt. What was your first sexual experience? Does masturbation count? It should, right? Yeah, it does.  Ok. I think I […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Inside Life

May 30, 2020

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who’s been cheating on her husband for the past year. She talks about their total lack of sexual chemistry and why she feels no guilt. What was your first sexual experience? Does masturbation count? It should, right? Yeah, it does.  Ok. I think I […]

May 29, 2020

You know, for people who have the hardest time permitting their children to attend sleepovers, inter-state excursions and any program not designed for the church or mosque, Nigerian parents are awfully trusting when their children decide an education abroad is what they want to spend a few years of their lives pursuing. And when it […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa
May 5, 2020
For the second season, we put an even more diverse motley crew of young Nigerians in front of a camera and asked them random questions about love, school experiences and more.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.