So You Think Your Landlord Is Mad?


June 17, 2019

So you think your landlord is mad? Just because she told everyone in your building to put their generators off at midnight or else she’ll seize it? Or because he’ll rather engage in one on one combat with NEPA officials than pay his bills?

As far as these six people are concerned, your landlord might be mad, but theirs are madder.

“It was worse than living with my parents”

I moved to Lagos on short notice, so I was desperate to get an apartment quickly. Ended up renting the BQ of this woman’s house. Worst year of my life. Anytime I stayed out later than 11 pm she’ll use another padlock to lock her gate and I’d have to crash at a friend’s house. It was worse than living with my parents. She’d quiz all my visitors and even refuse to let some into the compound. When I was moving out I didn’t even tell her, just left quietly one night.

Femi, 27

“My landlord was just a bastard”

My landlord was just a bastard. I don’t know how I stayed in that house for two years. I’ve never done the math but I’m pretty sure that in those two years, he collected double of what I paid for my rent with fraudulent bills. Today the borehole is bad, tomorrow NEPA people said we should pay this. Sometimes he didn’t even bother looking for an excuse he’ll just say the money is for maintenance. And if you don’t pay he’ll cut off your water and light.

Dami, 27

“She used to ration our water”

My landlady used to ration water for no fucking reason. The switch to the pump was in her house and she used to pick and choose when she’ll pump water. I don’t know if she thought the water could finish from the ground or if she was just being cheap with her PHCN bills. Sometimes we won’t have water for 2 days just because this woman doesn’t want to pump water. She used to stay in the house mostly on weekends and that’s when she’ll pump water. When she came around during the week she’ll refuse to pump water.

Doyin, 26

“He was harassing my girlfriend”

There was this one landlord I had who used to harass my girlfriend. It was so bad she had to stop coming over. When he realized he was never going to be able to woo her, he became hostile towards both of us. I don’t know how he always knew when she was around, but when she was he’ll come banging at my door about a non-issue. One time it was that my generator was causing noise. Like three other people’s generators were on o but it was my own that was causing noise.

Dimeji, 25

“He was flattening my car tires”

I still don’t have proof of this but I’m pretty sure my landlord used to let the air out of my tires. There was very limited parking space and I used to close early. He had a spot reserved for himself but he used to come back by like midnight. It made no sense to me to park on the street when there was space in the house so I parked in his. At first, when he came back he’ll rake outside my door for like an hour, that I should come and move my car. I always ignored him. One day he stopped and I started waking up to a flat tire every day. Even after I stopped parking in his spot.

Nora, 29

“He let strangers into my house”

I made the tragic mistake of letting an old landlord know I wasn’t going to renew my rent for the next year, months before the one I had paid was to expire. I’d come home and have this feeling that someone had entered my house. Little little things will be out of place. Turned out the man was showing the apartment I was still living in, to potential tenants when I went to work. I changed the locks and when I was moving out he refused to refund my caution fee because I had the ‘effrontery’ to change locks in his house.

Peter, 26

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