When I was born, the plan was to be a baby girl for life and literally too. First day I heard… “you suck breast too much, I can’t wait for you to grow up”.
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But you see, life’s not fair, I started walking and people started throwing around words like “responsible”, “house chore” etc.
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School started and everything was smooth until I got to senior secondary class.
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Science class or art class or commercial class?
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Decided science class and then my mother decided to tell mummy Biola that always has an opinion about everything. Mummy Biola went..
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And then, “this girl that likes to talk a lot, she should be a lawyer”.
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Meanwhile, I was like..
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So time for JAMB, I studied the brochure.
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I concluded on Medicine and Surgery. So first year in school, I was ready. New baffs, who this?
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Year 1 was a breeze!
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Year 2, Anatomy lecturer said “look beside you, that’s your competition”.
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Big texts, human bones, people started calling me “D Doctorrrrrrr”, I started..
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First test and our scores were pasted on the notice board, when I saw my score..
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Year 2 to year 3 break, went home and dad introduced me as a doctor to his friends, I was like..
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Year 3. Restrategized and was ready.
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I wasn’t going to fail anymore because..
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First professional exam.
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Meanwhile, family and friends were very expectant.
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Results were released and yay! I passed.
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Time for wardcoat and actually dealing with real humans.
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Things took a different turn. Each Consultant* had their rule.
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When you resume in the morning, then you get to the clinic and there are no patients.
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And the Consultant announces an impromptu wardround “to keep you busy”.
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Consultant then asks “Whose patient is this?!” and you have not clerked.
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But you signed for your clerking* partner in exchange for him to clerk your patient but he still didn’t clerk.
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Consultant starts insulting you and your ancestors and a Registrar* now puts mouth.
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After you finish chopping that insult from your Consultant.
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Then, the person that was meant to clerk comes to say sorry to you.
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When you get to the hospital early the following day to clerk the patient and are feeling quite confident..
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You finish presenting and the Consultant asks if you’ve seen a stupid person before and you reply..
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And then, he asks you when last you checked the mirror.
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When you forgot to ask a question from your patient but you lied to your Consultant you did.
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And the consultant now asks the patient to confirm if you really did.
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And the patient answers “no”.
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Then he asks the patient “have you seen this medical student before?” And the patient is hesitant.
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Meanwhile your classmates are behind you like..
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After wardround, they come to pay their condolences.
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But you still believe tomorrow will be better.
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Exam time and everybody is like..
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You and your study partner sit in the exam hall like..
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First question- which of these is not unlikely to be true?
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“How was your paper?”
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And that guy that always passes comes to tell you yet again that the paper was bad.
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When you’re the first person to finish oral exams.
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Then you start permutating your scores to see if you will have up to 50%.
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And finally, you passed.
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Then your finally have the time to go to those weddings your friends always invite you for.
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But through everything, you’re still D Doctorrrrr
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