14 Things That Happen When You Get Stranded On Third Mainland Bridge

June 14, 2016

1. Your face, that moment your car or bus breaks down in the middle of the bridge.

I’m dead.

2. When it’s a bus so you know at least you’re not going to die alone.

We are all in this together.

3. How the other passengers move when a car actually stops:

You people should chill small.

4. When you get down and discover how much the bridge actually shakes.

How is this thing still standing?

5. When your mind starts doing ‘1000 ways to die’ because you’re alone.

Baba God, pick up.

6. You, realizing how many steal-able things you actually own.

Why do I have so much stuff?

7. When you start calling your friends to come out and pick you.

Friendship no reach that one.

8. How Lagosians look at you when you try to stop them for help:

Keep dreaming.

9. How they actually see you once it’s after 7pm:

You are automatically an armed robber. Don’t argue.

10. You, remembering all the stranded people you never stopped for.

Is this karma?

11. When you look at the water and start remembering all the mami water gist you’ve ever heard.

This can’t be how I die.

12. You, calculating how many miles you would have to run to get off the bridge.

Let me just sit here and die, abeg.

13. When a suspicious looking car starts slowing down beside you.

Hay God!

14. When it’s actually a good Samaritan that is stopping to help you.

YES LORD!
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