Everything That Happens When Your Parents Travel For the Weekend

April 28, 2017

1. You when you hear your parents are travelling for the weekend:

Home Alone 4! It’s time to party! Sleep over of life! No Saturday cleaning!

2. You start planning how to throw the coolest party for all your friends.

3. Then your parents sit you down to give you the rules of engagement while they will be away.

You must go to bed at 8. Put off the gen at 7. Nobody must enter the house.

4. And your mother gives you a list of chores to “keep busy”.

…because an idle mind is the devil’s workshop and you don’t want to help the devil to start making furniture.

5. But you already know you will put off the work until the last minute.

6. When your parents ask a neighbour to “check in on you from time to time”.

They say it is in case of an emergency, but you know the real reason is so they can keep an eye on you.

7. But you’re smarter than that.

Only learners get caught and you ain’t no learner.

8. You invite your friends over in the morning.

And tell them to come with books so it looks like y’all are studying.

9. Your parents call like every five minutes to “check in”.

You probably talk to them more in that one weekend than you ever did in your entire life.

10. And during every call, they’re suspicious of every noise and ask you a dozen questions every time.

Where are you? What is that noise? Have you locked the gate? Have you put off the generator? Have you started sleeping? Did you invite anybody to the house?

11. You handle the calls like a pro and try to keep your voice mellow even though you’re hyped up on too much sugar they had warned you not to have.

12. What your parents imagine you’re doing while they’re away:

13. What you wish you were doing:

…if your friends hadn’t bailed on you.

14. What you are actually doing:

15. When your parents call to tell you they’re on their way back home:

So soon? Why the rush?

16. How they expect to find the house:

17. Their reaction when the house is neat and tidy, all your chores are done and you even have food prepared for them:

18. And then they ask you, “So what happened while we were away?”

Like you’re going to tell them everything. Uh…nothing much.
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