1. You’ve only been married a minute but everyone is already asking “Where are your kids?”

You stress me out.

2. When your husband that was happy eating shawarma before marriage suddenly wants pounded yam everyday.

Those twitter people have gotten in your head shey?

3. Before marriage you got plenty dates, surprises and presents. After marriage, nothing.

You’ve seen me finish abi?

4. When family members come to visit and before you know it they’ve been around for a week.

Why are you still here?!

5. When that family member that won’t leave starts giving you marital ‘advice’.

Shut the hell up!

6. When everyone assumes that because you’re married you share everything.

Nope. No. Ehn ehn.

7. When you forget your wife’s birthday or wedding anniversary.

This will haunt you for the next one year.

8. When new gadgets come out and your wife is cooking new soups regularly.

Uhhnnn…I know what you’re doing!

9. When outsiders are trying to find something wrong with your marriage.

“We can help settle it if there’s any problem”

10. When you want to watch football but your wife wants to watch Scandal, so you watch Scandal.

Happy wife, happy life.

11. When your single friends are planning to hang out and no one invites you.

Is this life?

12. When people throw “Are you not married?” question at you when you try to do any fun thing.

Ehen? So am I dead?

13. When people try to remind you of your wild past in front of your partner.

Is this one mad?

14. When research and science won’t shut up about your sex life. Today married people have plenty sex.


15. Tomorrow, married people don’t have enough sex.

Make up your damn minds!


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.