13 Things You’ll Get If You’ve Ever Asked A Nigerian For Directions

January 29, 2020

If you’ve ever had to ask even a single Nigerian for directions, then you already know just how stressful and confusing that situation can be. They’d rather direct you straight to hell than admit that they don’t know the way.

1. How Nigerians look at you when you stop to ask for directions:

Ah. No vex.

2. When they say “Okayyyyyyy” 10 seconds after you ask.

Stop lying, abeg. You don’t know.

3. Google maps vs. Nigerians:

4. Their hands when giving directions:

Take it easy.

5. “Do as if you’re going towards…”

I should “do as if”?

6. When the second person you ask says the opposite of what the first person said.

What is this nonsense?

7. When you actually get proper directions.

A major miracle.

8. You, when a Nigerian admits that they don’t know.

Wait. People like you exist?

9. “You’ll just burst out…”

You already know this one is yarning dust.

10. When Nigerians say “it’s not that far”:

You can rest assured that it is indeed “that far”.

11. When you hear “Ah! You’ve passed it oh.”

What is this life?

12. “You’ll go down, down, down, down…”

“Down” is not a unit of measurement, please.

13. When the place you were going was right beside them all along.

What. The. Fuck?

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