We’ve all had that one ex that did us wrong. Broke our hearts and left it shattered in the street.

Whether your ex boy- or girlfriend cheated on you, dumped you, stole all your money and ran away with your best friend, you’ve probably thought about doing some or all of these things to them:

1. Whistle-blowing their ass to the EFCC.

The rationale behind this is simple: If you can no longer enjoy their money – especially if it was made illegally – at least this way you’ll still get 5 percent of it.

2. Setting their clothes on fire.

Okay, this is extreme, but you know you’ve thought about doing it. If you burn their clothes they will no longer have any fine thing to wear and can no longer be doing “notice me” up and down.

3. Ordering a bunch of things online with their debit card.

If you stayed long enough with your ex, you’d probably have their card information in your browser history. If you get caught, you can easily claim it was a mistake. And if you don’t, you’d have bought yourself out of the heartbreak.

4. Blackmail.

Another extreme, but it’s just a thought, isn’t it? Odds are you’d have some incriminating information on the ex. An embarrassing video, proof of some sinister or illegal act, or the good old “noods” that could just “leak” and ruin their career.

5. Hack their social media accounts.

If your ex is a social media cool kid, this one might actually set them off the edge more than the others. They’d most likely have logged into their account with your phone or laptop, so getting in might not be a problem. You could choose a plethora of options: From posting random things you know they wouldn’t, to outright deleting the account and watch them panic with glee. Yes, evil, but again, just a thought.

6. Troll their social media accounts.

Many a social media accounts have been set up for just this very purpose. Trolling an ex on social media is most likely the top thing you’ve thought about doing to an ex. The benefits are twofold; on the one hand, you get to keep tabs without risking your ex finding out you’re monitoring them online, and on the other hand, you get to make their online life miserable almost in the same way your real life was following the break up.

7. “Slightly” messing up their car.

If the break up was a really hard one, all that pent up anger might have made you consider getting physical and smashing up your exes’ property. Say for instance, their car. It could feel good to break something belonging to someone who did you so much wrong, but you would have to bolt out of there as fast as you can so you don’t get caught. The law might not exactly be on your side.

When an ex does you wrong, sometimes you just want to scream:

It can really pain.

However, please be advised that this is only a hypothetical list and not an endorsement to carry out any, some or all of these actions.

In the end, you just have to find a way to deal with your heart break, even if that means confronting your ex just like #hurtbae did. Remember her?


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