1. Whenever you see bus 5 coming.


2. When you hear “Caution! Caution!! Caution!!!”

Hay God! It’s all over.

3. When they start an announcement with “good news!”

You already know you don’t care.

4. One hour after they call Prof. Aize Obayan to “round up”:

It’s not over?

5. The doctor, when you go to health center with a broken leg:

Na wa for you.

6. This difficult choice:

Just let your pocket decide.

7. When they are denying exeats up and down but they approve your own.

God is good.

8. How you know exam time has reached:

You people should go to your halls, abeg.

9. When a non-student starts saying “I heard they don’t let you guys…”

Oya say nonsense.

10. When Mario catches you ‘pairing’ at night.

Ezz not wat it looks like, sir.

11. That time Pastor Ntia gingered everybody:

12. Whenever they say they want to do head count.

Is this really necessary?

13. You at every single public lecture:

Why are we even here?

14. When someone blocks you in front of your hall with “excuse me! Please, can you help me call…”

Better leave my front.

15. “In a short while, we shall be rising up to pray.”

Didn’t we just finish praying?

16. You, the first time you stabbed chapel service:

Is this how I will go home?

17. When you go to the buttery and all they have is Hebron drink.

What is this life?


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.