16 Struggles Any Nigerian Hospital Patient Understands

February 24, 2016
Ever stepped foot in any Nigerian hospital? You begin to wonder why you fell sick in the first place. These situations must have definitely happened to you.

1. When you step in and a whiff of hospital smell hits you

Jesus what is this odor?

2. When all the nurses are shouting like it’s a market place

Aunty nurse calm down, it’s never that deep.

3. The people waiting to see one doctor that is ‘not on seat’

Please, excuse me sah amatyour back.

4. The wait before your card number gets called for consultation

I should just have died at home in peace.

5. Nurses asking you the most questions and checking random things

Ahan, aunty is it modelling audition we are doing here?

6. When they try to check your temperature with the back of their hand

Wait, what? In this 21st century?

7. When the doctor asks “what’s wrong with you”

How am I supposed to know? Is that not your job sir? That is why I came here fam.

8. And he proceeds to press the spot that hurts repeatedly

Come on now, are you checking for pain at all? Why are you pressing it like fresh bread?

9. When the doctor goes “I will diagnose you and prescribe some drugs”

Okay now captain obvious.

10. When he finally does his math and says “it is malaria”

After all your pressing and writing story, everytime ordinary malaria or typhoid.

11. Trying to read the doctors handwriting

Why is everything looking like his signature?

12. Looking at your prescription slip

For only malaria?

13. When the nurses say “remove your trouser for injection”

Smh you can’t even sweet talk me small, so harsh so rude.

14. On ‘admission’ and they wake you up from sleep to take your sleeping meds

ARE YOU SERIOUS?????

15. When the nurses sleep off and forget to change your drip and it has finished

Murderers!

16. When you are finally well and they don’t want to discharge you

I SAID I AM FEELING FINE! Please let me go what is this imprisonment????

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 18, 2022

Last weekend, Orijin, the custodian of culture was the toast of the Big Brother Naija Saturday night party-themed Orijinal Ankara party. Saturday night parties are the highlights of Big Brother Naija weekends and Orijin delivered with melodious afrobeat music, flamboyant fashion, and its unique taste. The Level Up housemates partied away decked in stylish Ankara […]

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X