15 Things That Are Too Real For Nigerians When They Get Malaria

January 27, 2016

1. When the symptoms start appearing and you already know what’s coming.

It has started.

2. When the doctor just assumes it’s malaria that is doing you, because it usually is.

It is not your fault sha.

3. You, trying to find where your appetite disappeared to.

I don’t even remember I’m supposed to be hungry.

4. When that bitterness hits your tongue and everything you eat tastes like suffering and regret.

What is this level of suffering?

5. When you remember those days of chloroquin and quinine and just thank God that struggle is over.

Those days were the WORST!

6. When you start remembering when you were actually well and how you didn’t appreciate it.

The good ol’ days.

7. When you think you’ll at least lose small weight but your scale is just looking at you like:

Keep dreaming.

8. When you take antibiotics and everything from your sweat to your soul starts smelling like it.

You and everything you touch will now be smelling like sickness

9. When the malaria is at its worst and all your dreams become like Nollywood horror films.

I can’t sleep again.

10. When you start regretting not taking anti-malaria drugs sooner.

The mistakes we make.

11. When you think it’s just regular malaria and the doctor starts talking about admitting you.

Just like that?

12. When you start sweating anyhow and you know the malaria drugs have started winning the battle.

The storm is over.

13. You, trying to regain your strength like:

Epp me, God.

14. When you think you’re finally better and try to be active again and the malaria comes back like:

Hay God!

15. When the fear of malaria is the beginning of wisdom.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 28, 2022

Just hours to the planned November 26, 2022 resumption of operations on the Abuja-Kaduna railway corridor, the Federal Government announced a postponement. It’s not the first time the government has postponed a planned resumption since terrorists attacked the railway corridor in March. But more than the government’s erratic announcements and postponements, Nigerians remain worried about […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X