1. When you go to a house and see “Beware of dog”
2. How all Nigerian dogs look:
They are always everywhere.
3. You, calling them beforehand to make sure their dog has been locked up.
Better cage that kini.
4. When they tell you to enter their house when their dog isn’t chained.
Nope. Nah. Never.
5. You, walking past the dog trying to act cool when you’re really just saying your last prayers.
God, epp me.
6. When the dog starts charging at you and they tell you not to run.
See this one.
7. When they tell you their dog doesn’t bite.
Are you in the dog’s head?
8. When they tell you to come and pet it.
Shift that thing biko.
9. When the dog is already showing you its teeth and they are like:
As I now don’t want to play, nko?
10. When the dog now bites you and they say it’s because you were breathing too much.
11. How they now beg for leftovers for the dog when they come for your Owambe:
I will poison that thing.
12. When you now go back to visit them and you’re ready for that dog.
Come at me.