The No-bullshit Guide To Making It In Life According To Obi Cubana

July 21, 2021

People of God, we have Obi Cubana and his interview with BBC to thank for this concise guide. If you have coconut head and just want to blow by picking money at parties, then these tips here are for you.

Now, to making it in life…

1. Stop looking for who will cut soap for you

“You don make your own soap, carry am baff.” Shey you have heard?

2. Stop shouting “God when” everywhere

If God tells you when now, you fit faint oh. Just do the bit you can for now consistently.

3. Try multiple things

Sure, it’s painful when something you had hopes for flops, but try another, and another until you hit gold. Amen?

4. Turn sand to Garri

Transform whatever skill or business you have now into something that will enable you comfortably throw money into swimming pool in the future.

5. Face your front

If you look back, you can turn to salt. Look side at what other people are doing, and you just might miss what is ahead in your own unique journey.

6. Try to dey enjoy life

You’re pre-rich, but you can’t kill yourself nau. Don’t you want to live long enough to give motivational speeches too?

7. Don’t go out naked

Clean your gutter mind plis. Reference is being made to prayer. Pray like no tomorrow.

8. Avoid native doctors

Unless you want to follow their children to fetch water from the stream.

If you can do all these, you and Obi Cubana will be rubbing shoulders soon. A word is enough for the wise. *Beats gong and walks away*

Susan Nwaobiala

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 10, 2020

Oversabi is a terrible thing. Body fitness is a great thing to desire, but when people begin to turn workout sessions into lowkey punishment sessions, that’s where to draw the line. What happened to the good old sit-ups and push-ups? Here’s a list of the most terrible exercises that’ll make your body wonder if you’re […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

black girl leaning on the wall with curly hair
September 21, 2021

“Everyone from his fraternity ran away except him, and that was how he went down. He died on school grounds. Omo, I wasn’t myself for days. That was when I realized everything everyone said was true.”

8 Nigerian Women Talk About Their Experience With Cultists

Read here:

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Hustle

Black boy using laptop on a chair
August 21, 2021

Nigeria is hard and everybody is looking for how to make money to ease things, including students. Here’s a list of online jobs for Nigerian students.  1. Digital Marketing  Digital Marketing is one of the jobs with a low barrier to entry. All you have to do is take a course online. It’s flexible too, […]

August 17, 2021

A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is a club hostess and […]

August 16, 2021

Have you ever bought anything online before? Many people have. Some of us have had amazing experiences but many more people have had really bad experiences. I have worked as an online marketing expert for over 10 years and yet, I have been scammed by an online business. I haven’t been scammed in a long […]

August 10, 2021

A Week In The Life” is a weekly Zikoko series that explores the working-class struggles of Nigerians. It captures the very spirit of what it means to hustle in Nigeria and puts you in the shoes of the subject for a week. The subject of today’s “A Week In The Life” is Enoch Adegoke. He’s a […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X