The No-bullshit Guide To Making It In Life According To Obi Cubana

July 21, 2021

People of God, we have Obi Cubana and his interview with BBC to thank for this concise guide. If you have coconut head and just want to blow by picking money at parties, then these tips here are for you.

Now, to making it in life…

1. Stop looking for who will cut soap for you

“You don make your own soap, carry am baff.” Shey you have heard?

2. Stop shouting “God when” everywhere

If God tells you when now, you fit faint oh. Just do the bit you can for now consistently.

3. Try multiple things

Sure, it’s painful when something you had hopes for flops, but try another, and another until you hit gold. Amen?

4. Turn sand to Garri

Transform whatever skill or business you have now into something that will enable you comfortably throw money into swimming pool in the future.

5. Face your front

If you look back, you can turn to salt. Look side at what other people are doing, and you just might miss what is ahead in your own unique journey.

6. Try to dey enjoy life

You’re pre-rich, but you can’t kill yourself nau. Don’t you want to live long enough to give motivational speeches too?

7. Don’t go out naked

Clean your gutter mind plis. Reference is being made to prayer. Pray like no tomorrow.

8. Avoid native doctors

Unless you want to follow their children to fetch water from the stream.

If you can do all these, you and Obi Cubana will be rubbing shoulders soon. A word is enough for the wise. *Beats gong and walks away*

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

How was your night
March 9, 2020

For the life of me, I have never understood why people ask ‘how was your night’. What response do these special people expect when they ask this? Do they think I’ll sit them down and explain that my eye is twitching because I spent all night binge-watching Assistant Madams and writing a thesis as to […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Hustle

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X