NYSC Diary Day 14: A Crash Course On How To Make Doughnuts In Camp

November 19, 2019

Everyday by 12pm for the next 21 days, I’ll be telling you what life is like at NYSC Camp. I was posted to Borno State, but the camp holds in Katsina state due to Boko Haram insurgency in Borno. You can read all the stories in the series here.


The countdown begins; NYSC camp will soon become a thing of the past. But before this happens, the soldiers are bent on showing us who is superior. It’s another day, another round of drills and marching and wondering what exactly all this will amount to. I go through the activities of bathing, brushing, and dressing up a little confused about what I am doing. Let’s be honest, do we understand what we as doing in this Nigeria?

8:30 AM

I am on air again. I host the current affairs and today in history segment. Today, I bring a twist to the show — interesting facts about the human body. Did you know, for example, that when you kiss someone you pass on 278 bacteria to them? Relax, you Farm Equipment. 95% of these bacterias are harmless. You’re probably thinking, “Only 5% are harmful, no wahala,” but think of mouth odour. What if it is caused by the remaining 5%? You better stop kissing entirely. Something that is not even sweet.

Breakfast is pap and beans, as per recycle of meals. I add milo and peak milk to the pap, and mehn, issa cruise.


Chopist class. And I am here to enjoy it to the fullest. ENJOYMENT GALORE. We are learning how to make doughnuts. The instructor tells us about the punctured doughnuts, the non-puncture(d) ones (that is, doughnut wey no get hole for centre), jam doughnuts, glazed doughnuts, etc. Then we set about mixing our dough and leaving it to rise, kneading it, rolling it and then cutting it into pretty circles of dough. We place them on a tray and set it out in the sun so it can rise again.

In the meantime, we learn how to make a pancake and I am given a bit of it to taste, but someone smacks it out of my hand to the floor after I take one bite. Shebi you see that bad belle full everywhere.

Anyway, we fry the doughnuts and they come out brown and fluffy, with some of them having a slight crisp that makes it even more enjoyable. And it’s hot too. Imagine this kind of delicacy going with a bottle of cold Fanta.

I swear, after this SAED training, na to go open shop remain. We’re going to do gizdodo tomorrow. I don’t know what that is, but I’m guessing a combination of gizzard and dodo.


This is the moment when I discover Teni’s Billionaire. I love it! Especially the thing that sounds like “Crip!” which was mentioned at the beginning. It’s a wonder of a song, and the music video has a story that I really love. So far in this year, Tiwa Savage’s 49-99 and Billionaire are the two music videos I have found love in. Yes. There are other music videos, but I hardly know them because I no dey watch TV. Where I wan get see am? Thank God for YouTube and the gift of brand new music videos. 


Dinner is rice and a river of stew. A small meat too. I head to Mammy Market to get something to snack on, but it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for you to find proper snacks at that market.

K. joins me at Mammy Market to rent dresses for the lady who is representing our platoon for the Miss Camp/Miss NYSC competition. The dresses look like Mary Amaka gowns, some that look like costume for church drama, some look like maternity gowns, some look like the costume for someone playing angel in a Christmas carol. And there’s that tacky red and  black dress with false diamonds and whorls of sliver and black gathers. It looks like something a masquerade should parade in. Who on earth designs these things?

In the end, we shortlist three dresses: one complicated looking but actually simple dress with a train. It has leaves printed on it, and it makes me think of coffee, but it is beautiful. The second dress is a tornado of gold fabric. It looks like the adult version of those ready-made gowns they buy for girls at Christmas. All that remains is a hat with rubber band to hold it under the chin, plastic sunglasses, and white socks trimmed with organza, and a baby girl is a born.

The third dress doesn’t even size our prospective queen. It has been slimfitted to death and even though it looks like it has prospects, we do not get to see it. The woman says not to worry, that we can loosen it out.

After this shopping, we head to another stall to price glitter for our Mr. Macho. I hear that we will rub groundnut oil on his abs and smear him with glitter so that when he flexes his chest and stands before the whole camp in his underwear, ladies can fall in love.  American Wonder part three and four. Orisirisi.

8:45 PM

Another OBS meeting. It means no social night, but OBS meetings are long so I don’t even know what to feel. But I do something new. As soon as the Camp PRO finishes addressing us and an OBS exco comes up to start part two of the meeting, I promptly fall asleep. No be me una go kill, abeg.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Inside Life


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.