How Every Nigerian Know It’s Now Marriage O’Clock

July 20, 2016

There comes a time in every young Nigerian’s life, when their parents decide they should become another person’s problem… permanently, by finding a partner and getting married. Here is how to know if your parents are at that point with you.

1. You’ve graduated from school.

Once you’ve graduated from school your time in your parents’ house has expired. Come and go and marry, abeg!

2. You greet your parents in the morning and they barely answer you.

“Ehn the morning will be better when you marry!”

3. Every family prayer involves spiritual torchlight to “fish out” your partner.

“Maybe they are blocking your star in the spiritual world.”

4. Every time you attend weddings, your parents start announcing your qualifications.

It’s not that they are proud of you oh. It’s that they are looking for someone to come and collect you.

5. When you misbehave at home they imply that’s why you are still single.

“You cannot greet abi? That’s why you are not married.”

6. When you do something they like, they tie it to marriage.

“Just continue like this, you will soon have your own home.”

7. When they hear about any singles event in the city, they demand you go.

“You cannot just be staying like this in the house. Go and help yourself!”

8. Any friend of the opposite sex that comes to visit you is viewed as a prospective partner.

“I know the children I gave birth to. Which one is ‘he is like a brother to me?’”

9. How they look at you when you are still forming selective.

“You better manage that man like that o jare!”

10. How they act when you say you want to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend.

“AH! Who will collect you now?”

So if you recognise more than one of these, just know your parents are tired of you. Go and marry!

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 29, 2020

The idea of a blind date sounds exciting, but nobody really knows what they’re getting themselves into. It can go rather well or horribly wrong. Let’s tell you a short story. One you probably know too well. 1. You are on your lane when your friends decide to set you up on a date You […]

Nigerian Army testifies SARS panel
November 29, 2020

The Nigerian Army has shared their testimony twice at the Lagos State Judicial Panel of Inquiry and Restitution For Victims of SARS Related Abuses. At Zikoko Citizen, we have been following the “Lagos SARS panel” ever since the panel was inaugurated, and we have also been present at the panel hearing on the two occasions […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Inside Life

November 29, 2020

The idea of a blind date sounds exciting, but nobody really knows what they’re getting themselves into. It can go rather well or horribly wrong. Let’s tell you a short story. One you probably know too well. 1. You are on your lane when your friends decide to set you up on a date You […]

November 29, 2020

While you were off sleeping when your mates were out painting the town red, contestants of reality TV show MTN Y’ello Star were turning up the volume at the craziest party. Sponsored by Music Time, the party featured celebrity DJ Kaywise and tons of fun. Here are our favourite moments from the party. 1. The […]

November 29, 2020

If your friend has these TV habits, they’re probably a cultist. This goes without saying, but you need to run for dear life. 1. When you start a show together, they leave you behind without waiting for you to catch up Deep down, they think you are too much baggage and about how they can […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X