17 Things Only People Who Have Been To A Nigerian Bank Will Immediately Understand

February 24, 2016

1. When the ATM in front of the bank is not working.

Are you people joking?

2. When you press the button for the door before the person on the other side.


3. When you’ve already dropped everything but the door still won’t let you pass.

I should off pant, abi what?

4. When you go to the bank in the middle of the day and the place is still full.

Don’t you people have jobs to be at?

5. When you lend someone your pen and the person disappears with it.

Na me mess up.

6. When you forget to bring your own pen and everyone you ask is using you to catch trips.

Hay God! See my life.

7. When a customer starts causing a scene in the bank.

Well, it’s all free entertainment while I wait.

8. When someone tries to jump everyone on the queue in the name of “in a hurry.”

Sorry oh Dangote, we don’t have where we are going too.

9. “Please, are you last pulzon on the queue? Amatyour back please.”

Every. Single. Time.

10. When one random person appears and says they are meant to be at your front.

Please, gerrarahia.

11. When the cashier tells you “network is down” and then carries face.

I’m confused.

12. When you want to open an account and they tell you to bring NEPA bill, a pint of blood, and your first born son.

Is that all?

13. When the customer service staff starts acting like you are owing them money.

Ah! Am I disturbing you?

14. When you want to change a small detail in your account and they tell you to write a letter to the manager.

Is it his account?

15. When your plan was to stay for a few minutes, but the whole day has already gone.

How am I still here?

16. When you go to withdraw and they pack N20 notes for you.

Please, am I a conductor?

17. When they try to get you to sign up for one of their ‘trend of the week’ services.

I don’t blame you. It’s because I still have account with you people.

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