After a long week answering to capitalism’s every whim and demands, Zikoko pulls up to their last interview of the week sick and tired of it all.
Zikoko: Welcome to Interview With.
Friday: Thank you. Let’s get this show on the road. I have to get back to work.
Zikoko: [Checks the time] You said you’re usually done with work by this time.
Friday: Yes, I’m done with my day job, but I need to start prepping for my after-hours job.
[She pulls out 5 sachets of chelsea dry gin from her bag]
Zikoko: Is your night job being a bus conductor?
Friday: Do you know how to mind your business?
Zikoko: I was just showing concern.
Friday: Hide it next time. [tears a sachet open like a cultist]
Zikoko: Should I wait until you’re done?
Zikoko: Sorry. Earlier, you mentioned having a day job…
Friday: [rips into another sachet] And you already assumed I was a bus conductor.
Zikoko: [side eyes] Yes, and it’s getting harder to believe otherwise. Won’t your chest be hotter than our HERtitude babes by the time you’re done?
Friday: You have 10 questions, you’ve asked three. Choose your the next ones very carefully.
Zikoko: When did we start counting the questions?
Friday: Question 4
Zikoko: You’re Friday, I didn’t think you’d be this strict.
Friday: Is that a question?
Zikoko: [Deep breath] What’s your day job?
Friday: Not sure I want to share that with you, but I have a desk job. I need it to afford my side hustle.
Zikoko: You work a desk job to afford your side hustle?
Zikoko: Mr. Cap
Friday: Capitalism. He pays me to do what he loves, so I can do what I love
Zikoko: Which is?
Friday: Usher in the weekend. Saturday and Sunday are cool people, [squeezes another sachet of chelsea into her mouth] so it’s always fun to cosplay as their flower girl.
Zikoko: Looks like you really like both jobs.
Friday: They work hand in hand. I won’t be Friday without them [sips on a sachet of chelsea dry gin]
Zikoko: Sorry o. I know I’ve asked before, but is your chest not hot?
Friday: Because of small gin? Please I’m Friday, gin is the least of my worries.
Zikoko: Apologies. The people seem to like you a lot.
Friday: Of course, I’m the queen of enjoyment, why won’t they like me?
Zikoko: They like you so much they want a four-day workweek.
Friday: [spits her gin sachet out of her mouth] Ehn?
Zikoko: It’s just something we’ve all been thinking of.
Friday: How am I now involved?
Zikoko: Someone on our team thought it’ll be a good idea to rearrange the way the week goes – party on Fridays, rest on Saturdays, and use Sundays to prepare for Monday.
Friday: That’s already how the week goes.
Zikoko: She was thinking, no work on Fridays…
Friday: As in, people should use the whole Friday for faaji? Is that not greed? Is she not a greedy person?
Zikoko: No. We can rest in the morning and then party through the night.
Friday: I don’t want. You, the person on your team, or any other person with this idea. Please tell them I don’t want. Ahahn, because I’m being nice to you people? Can you open your mouth and say this kind of thing to Monday?
Zikoko: So, you don’t want the four-day thing?
Friday: Zikoko, get Monday to do it.