Obviously, we were at our own Burning Ram, so we got an exclusive interview with the star of the day, our raffle draw prize, Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram.
Zikoko: My idolo!
After you, na you. There’s no counterfeit. My goat.
Ramsey: My name is Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram. Did you hear “goat” in my name?
Okay, sorry. Our bad. Do you have some sort of beef with go…
If you’re going to disrespect me, you better move from my front. People want pictures with me.
Zikoko: Don’t be angry. We just wanted to find out if you and “that one” had issues. We won’t lie, you guys look like you share the same daddy.
Ramsey: Are you calling me ugly?
Ramsey: Take it back. Take it back before I ram into you. Look at me, take a good look at me, then go and look at that ugly, smelling thing. Do we look alike? I have horns, do goats have horns?
Zikoko: Well, ye…
Ramsey: Please, we’re not the same. I’m a hard worker, I’m tough, my people give limited edition suya, for God’s sake.
Zikoko: That’s true. Ram suya does taste really nice.
(Someone comes to take a video of Ramsey, and he turns to Zikoko.)
Ramsey: Can you leave my video? Leave my video, please. Thank you.
(Zikoko steps to the side.)
Zikoko: How does it feel to be popular?
(He turns to Zikoko.)
I’m finally stepping into my glory. This is what I was born to do, to be a star.
Zikoko: Fame looks good on you.
Ramsey: You can see it too, right? Imagine if it was a goat?
Zikoko: So, what’s next for you? Do you have any plans?
Ramsey: I should be asking you that question.
When I’m done here, what’s next? You people will put me in a hotel until #BurningRam2024, right?
Ramsey: I know the economy is moving funny right now. But you people need to make the money move and put me in the presidential suite of Eko Hotel, nothing less.
Ramsey: I’d also need an assistant and a manager. Free tickets to all Zikoko events are a must. I want a spa day after this too because you people’s sun wants to burn me frfr.
(Ramsey looks up and sees Zikoko in the distance.)
Ramsey: Zikoko! Did you hear all I said?! I have needs, and you need to meet them!
Zikoko: When you meet your new bestie, you can tell them all your needs!
Ramsey: Ehn? Zikoko!!