Obviously, we were at our own Burning Ram, so we got an exclusive interview with the star of the day, our raffle draw prize, Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram.

Zikoko: Ramsey!

Ramsey:

Zikoko: My idolo! 

After you, na you. There’s no counterfeit. My goat.

Ramsey: 

Ram.

Zikoko: Sir?

Ramsey: My name is Chibuzor Ramsey Thee Ram. Did you hear “goat” in my name?

Zikoko: 

Okay, sorry. Our bad. Do you have some sort of beef with go…

Ramsey:

If you’re going to disrespect me, you better move from my front. People want pictures with me.

Zikoko: Don’t be angry. We just wanted to find out if you and “that one” had issues. We won’t lie, you guys look like you share the same daddy.

Ramsey: Are you calling me ugly?

Zikoko: Never!

Ramsey: Take it back. Take it back before I ram into you. Look at me, take a good look at me, then go and look at that ugly, smelling thing. Do we look alike? I have horns, do goats have horns?

Zikoko: Well, ye…

Ramsey: Please, we’re not the same. I’m a hard worker, I’m tough, my people give limited edition suya, for God’s sake.

Zikoko: That’s true. Ram suya does taste really nice.

(Someone comes to take a video of Ramsey, and he turns to Zikoko.)

Ramsey: Shift.

Zikoko: Hmm?

Ramsey: Can you leave my video? Leave my video, please. Thank you.

(Zikoko steps to the side.)

Zikoko: How does it feel to be popular?

Ramsey: Great.

(He turns to Zikoko.)

I’m finally stepping into my glory. This is what I was born to do, to be a star.

Zikoko: Fame looks good on you.

Ramsey: You can see it too, right? Imagine if it was a goat?

Zikoko: So, what’s next for you? Do you have any plans?

Ramsey: I should be asking you that question.

When I’m done here, what’s next? You people will put me in a hotel until #BurningRam2024, right?

Zikoko: 

Ramsey: I know the economy is moving funny right now. But you people need to make the money move and put me in the presidential suite of Eko Hotel, nothing less. 

Zikoko:

Ramsey: I’d also need an assistant and a manager. Free tickets to all Zikoko events are a must. I want a spa day after this too because you people’s sun wants to burn me frfr.

(Ramsey looks up and sees Zikoko in the distance.)

Ramsey: Zikoko! Did you hear all I said?! I have needs, and you need to meet them!
Zikoko: When you meet your new bestie, you can tell them all your needs!

Ramsey: Ehn? Zikoko!!