Here Are The Signs You Are Becoming A Nigerian Aunty

December 9, 2018
So you think you are still a baby girl? You think you can count yourself amongst the youth and use words like ‘on fleek’. Well, this is an awakening call. You are no longer a baby girl, you are now a Nigerian aunty and here’s the proof.

You’ve noticed that your makeup you used to think was on fleek is no longer really what’s trending.

Baby girls have moved on to feathered brows and you are still there drawing your own like marker.

In fact you no longer know what’s trending with anything. Clothes o music o, the youths have left you behind.

What do you mean denim jackets are old school in 2018? I still have ten in my wardrobe.

People who don’t know you in public have started calling you ‘aunty’ instead of miss.

You don’t even know when it started, you just woke up one morning and suddenly you were ‘Aunty’.

You now have a hoarde of nieces, nephews and younger cousins whose parents force them to talk to you on the phone.

You’ll call your sister to give her spicy gist about your baby girl life and the next thing you’ll hear is ‘Junior come and talk to your aunty on the phone’.

You’ve even started jamming some of them in the club house that you’ve been going. Because you know you are still yuppy and young in your mind.

You won’t even know when you’ll pick up your phone to call their parents. ‘Tade you won’t believe where I saw your son at this time of the night’. Standard Nigerian Aunty moves.

You’ve noticed that when you wear certain clothes people have started asking you ‘are you sure you should be wearing that at your age?’.

Please wear your bum short like that, their fathers.

No Saturday passes without you attending a wedding. But you’ve noticed the weddings you’ve been going for are those of your younger sisters age group.

Wait o when did everyone I know marry?

You’ve come to the sudden realisation that you’ve been dulling over the years and watching African Magic is actually sweet.

You’ll go and visit your friend and her children will be begging you to change the station from African Magic.

You go and visit your friend to chill and meet them scolding their children, next thing you hear is ‘go and report yourself to Aunty Yetunde’.

I’m not understanding so what am I supposed to do after they’ve reported?

You’ve also noticed that when you go and visit your friends or siblings their children have started asking you for ‘biscuit money’.

Please please please, in this economy? When did you even stop collecting biscuit money that people have started expecting you to give it.

Even when there is no aso-ebi for an owambe you and your friends will plan and co to wear.

Everything must coordinate from the way you tied your geles to the shoes you are wearing.

Your body just starts to itch you when you notice someone way younger than you didn’t kneel down to greet you.

It’s not as if you care about that o but you changed their nappies when they were babies. So imagine the effrontery.

You can’t leave an owambe anymore without making sure that you’ve collected every single souvenir that is being shared.

After all, you paid for aso-ebi and you can never have enough bowls in your kitchen.

Now that you know you are a Nigerian Aunty remember not to let that stop you from continuing to be a baby girl living your best life.

Cheers!
Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 17, 2018

A lot of people think going to a private university in Nigeria is an easier path to higher education, but it’s really not. While the private university struggles might be different from public universities, they are just as annoying. Look at these. When people tell me how ‘lucky’ I am to be going to a […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 2, 2021

July was a very eventful month. So much happened— Euros, BBNaija, Obi Cubana’s mother’s burial. Because Nigerians have coconut heads, they still managed to tweet these bangers even with the Twitter ban. You’ll laugh at these tweets. 1. I can’t think about this tweet and not burst into laughter. 2. Titilola is arriving in 5 […]

August 1, 2021

Ghosting can be weird – whether you’re the one being ghosted or doing the ghosting. When this happens, you’re likely to go through phases of worry, confusion, self-doubt, anger and finally make-everybody-getat. Wondering why exactly you’re being ghosted? Especially from people you really want to be in communication with? Here are 8 possible reasons. 1. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from General

July 15, 2021

The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made. Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7 – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021 The statement reads, Read more here. School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were […]

July 15, 2021

What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things. 1) Eat A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that […]

June 11, 2021

After refusing to accept his sexuality in Nigeria, today’s subject on Abroad Life moved to the US in 2015. He talks about how his relationship with God, his parents and church members made him realise that he had to accept his sexuality.  When did you decide that you were going to move to the US? […]

February 19, 2021

Last weekend was truly a celebration of love as Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings made dreams come true with a free surprise proposal for one couple and an all-expenses-paid wedding for another couple!  And just like that. Notey Akpotive and Obiora Chibuzor are now onestep closer to their happily ever after, thanks to Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X