Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Everybody and their daddy will want to bask in the spirit of love and try to share their me and mines energy with you… a single pringle. 

Let’s show you how to ignore the love in the air and the cupid ninjas 

Fight everybody

You have one week to channel your inner Patience Ozokwor and show everybody serious wickedness so they can clear from your front before saxophonists’ day arrives.

Wear cele uniform and post a picture near the water

Or just join the church. It doesn’t matter. As long as everyone thinks you see visions and commune with Angel Uriel, you’re good to go.

Hide in your father’s house

Bonus points if your daddy has a dog. If that annoying ex tries to make plans with you, invite them to your daddy’s house and let nature take it’s course.  

Hide from your mother

While in your father’s house, hide from your mother. She won’t ask you where your partner is, but she will point out your age and ask about marriage.

Change your network provider

Any of them would work at this point, but just so this works perfectly, subscribe to the green network for a day, and become completely unavailable.

Take Panadol Night

Take the day off work, put your phone on, do not disturb and sleep through everything.

Do it with your chest

They say you should face things head-on. If your sneaky link or that ex that won’t stop disturbing you sends you a message, turn on your read receipt, open the message and ignore it.

Don’t let anybody stress you and your single status on this completely random day. Put yourself first and dodge all the people doing couple goals and share their love with you.



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.