How to Succeed in 14 Easy Steps by Rotimi Amaechi

November 12, 2015
After more drama than the entire Telemundo channel put together, Rotimi Amaechi has been sworn in as the Federal Minister of Transportation. Congratulations to him but we are interested in how to get our own. That’s why Zikoko has put together this strong manual on how to achieve success in 14 easy steps using Rotimi Amaechi as a template. Get ready to learn. Your success is around the corner!

1. Remember to be diligent for your boss.

Some people are not serious – too lazy or proud to do simple tasks.  Don’t be one of them.  Even if it means carrying microphone for your boss when he’s making a speech you wrote and he doesn’t understand, keep at it.  That’s how it starts.

2. And laugh with your enemies.

Laughter won’t kill you. Doesn’t the Bible say you should bless your enemies?  It doesn’t matter if your enemy is your oga’s wife or his side chick, my friend open your mouth and laugh.  Sometimes you’re laughing at them but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re laughing.

3. Even when they can’t count.

I mean, how is 16 greater than 19? Sometimes, your boss miscalculates.  No one is above mistake.  Sometimes, they miscalculate your salary and only pay you 50% of what you agreed.  Sometimes, they miscalculate the days of the month and only pay you once every 8 months.  No vex, no one is above mistake.

4. And want to cheat you of your inheritance

NO, HOW IS SIXTEEN GREATER THAN NINETEEN? To be honest, I don’t really know.  Sometimes, you will face injustice and ignore.  Sometimes, you will react.  But make sure the mathematics is on your side.  Better that you don’t make mistake in your own calculation too.

5. Praise God in everything

Don’t forget to add shoki to your praise.  The devil hates shoki.  Go to a good church and dance your wahala away.  There is a blessing in the dance, abi how do pastors normally say it.

6. Do any job you are given very well, you never know where it will end up!

https://twitter.com/Mubarak_Maishan/status/664444640117047296/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
No comment.

7. Don’t let your past disturb you

Why should a monorail mistake derail you? Like we’ve said before, no one is above mistake.  Don’t be one of those people always looking backwards.  Anything can happen in your future.  Be bold, buy original Beats By Dre and ignore the haters!

8. Some days will be easy

And everything will be sweet.  Every drink will taste like it has sugar and nothing will do you one kind.  Better enjoy those days because it’s like devil has gone for check up and has left you for a bit.  Other days are coming.

9. Some days will be weird

Please why is this man pulling my ear? On your road to your new destination, you will experience strange things.  Repeat this to yourself, “na me dey find something“.

10. But keep singing and rejoicing

Open your mouth and sing.  Sing praise songs.  Sing reggae songs, then add blues after.  Sing hip-hop sef.  But don’t sing Adele’s “Hello”.  That song can’t help you in tough times – the only person that song has helped is Adele.

11. And dancing

Pastors recommend it.  Fitness experts recommend it.  Dance and forget your troubles.  You can’t come and go and kill yourself!  Does it matter if you’re a terrible dancer?

12. Dress for the job you want.

After all, a minister has to be a model citizen.  It pays to be bold and adventurous in your fashion choices.  It’s good practice for the real work you’re aiming for and it gets you noticed.

13. And one day, you will be surprised with good news

All your work has paid off.  They’ve called you to collect the job.  Or the contract.  Your hustle has clicked. You don get alert, #Godwin. Now is the time to change your phone number so that all the people that will now start asking you for things will let you rest.

14. And you know you’ve got victory over your enemies

Congratulations, Mr. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi! Now the work begins.
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 20, 2020

Remember when you had grand plans at the beginning of the year? Me neither. Inspired by this tweet, I decided to do a timeline of my grand plans vs what 2020 did to them. 1) This you? 2) Goddamn. 3) I cry everytime. 4) Wiun. 5) Lmaooooooo. 6) I would have gotten away with it […]

January 6, 2021

BDSM is an umbrella term for any activities under Bondage, Domination and Submission, and Sadomasochism. A lot of people still consider it unconventional sex, so we got 9 Nigerians to talk about their active participation in BDSM. Ada, 24 I have a daddy kink I think I got into it in secondary school. Honestly, I […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 21, 2021

As told to Femi A couple of weeks ago, I put out a tweet looking to speak with young people dealing with hypertension. Ehimen reached out to me. Our conversation spanned beyond hypertension to other issues. Here’s his story. It all began in my final year at the university when I was 19. I think […]

April 21, 2021

Tough times are really lasting, and the thought of using someone for money ritual looks more appealing. However, the fear of God is also real so you don’t know how to run it. Well, that’s where we come in. Here are some steps to enable you perform money ritual in a way that pleases God. […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Inside Life

April 21, 2021

Tough times are really lasting, and the thought of using someone for money ritual looks more appealing. However, the fear of God is also real so you don’t know how to run it. Well, that’s where we come in. Here are some steps to enable you perform money ritual in a way that pleases God. […]

April 20, 2021

Engineering is an interesting course to study, especially when you are a curious, intelligent and handsy person. Nonetheless, the course would stress you and give you occasional sleepless nights. Here’s a list of things that you will be able to relate to if you studied engineering at a Nigerian University. 1.Knowing the content of  K. […]

April 20, 2021

Do you want to win the heart of an Ibadan person? You have come to the right place. We will tell you everything you need to know, so that by the time you’re done reading this article, you would be ready to land your Ibadan lover. 1. Buy them amala from Amala Skye Remember the […]

April 20, 2021

Is the average Nollywood movie complete without someone mentioning or going to a shrine? To find out if it is as prevalent and popular in real life, I asked my Twitter followers and some people I know in real life about their experiences with juju/jazz. The answers? Absolutely fascinating. Ben, 32.In 2018, I was going […]

April 20, 2021

Sometimes it feels like there are more dogs than humans in Nigeria, so they should be required to pay tax. If you need to be convinced, here are eight reasons why. 1) They are constantly roaming the streets The streets of Nigeria were made with taxpayers money. So, why are freeloaders using it more than […]

April 20, 2021

Feel like you’ve run out of interesting places to hangout or visit? We’ve got you. Iba Ajie is a new spot we highly recommend if you are looking to explore places in the Eastern part of Nigeria. If you’re wondering what makes this spot special, here are 5 reasons. 1. There is a Chophouse Yes, […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X