If you have always suspected someone you know doing yahoo, but are unable to verify such claims, here are nine things to look out for.

1) All the rooms in their house are white

Out of all the colours of the rainbow, they chose to paint all their rooms white. If you ever visit someone and none of the rooms are painted in a colour other than white, start dialing EFCC.

2) They have blue lights in their house

To add to the white rooms, their lights are now blue? That’s a head fraudster and you shouldn’t even try calling EFCC. Just pack your shoes and run before they come and pack all of you to the station.

3) They are always on Snapchat

Their snap stories are like waistbeads, and their snap score is basically one million. Of all social media apps to use regularly, why that one? It has to be fraud.

4) Whenever you hang out, they are always playing “unreleased”

They never play songs by artists you know. Always songs from “my G” or “slime”. What happened to playing Burna Boy or Wizkid like normal people? The problem is that they have too much money to be going to the studio to record. That’s why.

5) They have more than 10k in their account

In this Buhari’s economy, someone has more than 10k in their account? How come? When Sapa is in the land? It is either ritualism or yahoo.

6) They eat bread with sardines and juice

Sardines are five hundred naira, and the price of juice has almost doubled. Then someone will say they want to have breakfast that contains both? They are doing yahoo. Please.

7) They know the lyrics to Dorime

Most of their time is spent in the club buying 5 bottles of Hennessy VSOP. One for the DJ, one for the hypeman, one for the staff, and two for their table.

8) Always posting quotes on their WhatsApp status

“You can only see the champagne, nobody ever sees the champ’s pain”. If you know someone that always posts things like that on their WhatsApp status, not only are they a fraudster, but they are the reason Shakespeare has retired and Pete Edochie is quacking in his boots.

9) They own a restaurant in Lagos

Money laundering and fraud are two sides of the same coin. If they say they own a Lagos restaurant, bill them because they have money. If you are a Lagos restaurant owner and you are reading this, we have just one request…

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