8 Things Former Boarding School Students Can Never Forget

March 11, 2021

Where two or three people who went to a boarding school are gathered, there is trauma in their midst. It wasn’t all bad though and even the worst times have made for good memories you can’t help but laugh about now.

1. S.A.P

This means a shortage of all provisions. This period prepares you for life as a broke adult, you’d find yourself drinking garri 24-7 or eating cereal and sugared water, hold the milk.

2. Last Junior

Friendships were ruined over this, your best friend would trip you just so they weren’t last. If you were ever the last junior, I’m sorry, I hope you’re in therapy now.

3. Lights out

While the general mood was gloom with a hint of gossip, it was always when they switched off the light that someone would remember stories of lady koi-koi and friends.

4. Journey of no return

This is a rite of passage prank seniors played on new juniors. The first step is to make up a book with a fake name and ask a junior to collect it from another senior, who would send them to another senior. If someone wasn’t kind enough to stop you, you’d somehow end up washing a ton of dirty cups and plates.

You to yourself then

5. Bells

They woke you up, told you when to eat and when to stop, told you what class period it was and even when to go to bed. Imagine living through this headache for 6 years, only to go home and find out that your neighbours favourite past time is to ring bells while kabashing early in the morning.

6. Red night/ Social night

This is usually meant to be a fun night to relax and unwind but no, someone’s unfortunate child will decide that they want to punish all the juniors for no reason. They’ll ask everyone to wear red, decorate your white bedsheets with red toothpaste and yes you will see blood. No one was spared, not even teachers or housemasters, everybody got their share of premium wickedness.

They should have kuku carried guns

7. Toilets

If you have a friend that is super hygienic about toilets, they’re either very clean or they went to boarding school. Omo, the things we saw, the things we smelt. Let us just thank God that we didn’t die.

8. Punishmets

If you came out from boarding school without at least two scars, I hail you. I don’t know how human beings came up with some of those punishments because imagine someone drawing a car on the board and telling you to push it because fuel finished while flogging you, or drawing a bucket and telling you to fetch water inside it, or asking you to crawl one kilometre because you were late to the dining hall only for food to finish? Boarding school was a nightmare.

To think these people are still roaming free? This life no balance
Malakai

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