8 Porn Titles To Help With Your Stress During Self-Isolation

April 7, 2020

self-isolation porn

We’ve suggested a ton of stuff you can do to keep yourself entertained during this self-isolation period. But there’s one super obvious thing a lot of people consume that we haven’t mentioned or discussed.

Porn.

Abeg (3x). If all of you reading this are making that face, where are Pornhub’s Nigerian statistics coming from? Ehn? Don’t gimme that stuff. We’re the only ones here and I will not shame you. Au contraire, I’m here to provide you with a list of porn titles that have helped me get through the gloom of self-isolation by reminding me of simpler times. Times when two or more people could just casually get together and do stuff with each other. Sit back and relax because you’re in for a treat.

1) 2 Female College Freshmen Meet Up In A Dorm Room To…Watch Movies All Night Long.

“Oh, yeah. That’s the stuff.”

2) Two Men…One Handshake

“You see that handshake?? Only black men have…handshakes that firm. Ugh!”

3) Petite Asian Woman Touches And Plays With Her Pretty Pink…Face With Reckless Abandon

“You missed a spot. The right side of your forehead. Yes, baby!”

4) 5 Guys And 2 Girls Come Together To Make Sweet…Memories By Taking Numerous Group Photos.

“Could you guys stand a little bit closer to each other so everyone’s in the frame? Fuck yeah. That’s a good position!”

5) Muscle Man Does Solo…Shopping Errand In A Fully-Stocked Supermarket With Moderately-Priced Goods.

“Wait. Your sardines are STILL N200 each?? SHIT! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY BECAUSE I’M COMING…to the checkout counter with 10 tins!”

6) Boss Calls His White Blonde Personal Assistant Into His Office And Requests To See Her…Notes Taken During The Company-Wide Meeting That Took Place Yesterday.

“You know what I want. Show me those notes, baby.”

7) Black Guy, Who’s Just Meeting His Stepsister For The First Time, Gives Her His Big…gest Hug And Just That Because He Now Has The Sister He’s Always Wanted.

“Can you rub her back and wiggle a little bit so it kinda looks like y’all are dry-humping? Perfect!”

8) Guy and Girl Meet Up For A Quickie…Coffee Date At A Crowded Cafe During Their Lunch Break.

“Nothing gets my juices flowing like doing it (drinking coffee) in a public place.”

Go forth and enjoy, you whore.

What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 10, 2020

If you could play the role of God for one day, what would you do? Especially as a Nigerian citizen. What are some of the things you’d change? Not to be obvious, but I’ll immediately ban Ikokore. First point of duty. I’m sorry, Grandma. Then revive all the dead Nigerian politicians and jail them. Alongside […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

More from Inside Life

August 6, 2022

If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter. You can’t First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X