8 Excuses To Give When Your Partner Catches You Cheating

March 1, 2021

Have you ever been caught having sex with another person by your partner? Well, here are some sure-fire excuses that will prevent you from being broken up with or killed.

1) It was the Devil

People have been blaming the Devil since before you were born. The Devil is already used to it, I’m sure he won’t mind if you use his name one more time. 

2) You tripped and fell

You were standing and minding your business when you tripped on your own two legs and then found yourself fucking. You can’t even explain it, but everyone trips once or twice nau. Your partner will understand. 

3) Missing tampon

If you’re caught with your legs between someone’s legs, simply say their tampon was missing and you were helping them look for it so you can pull it out. You were just using your mouth and hands for a better chance at finding it

4) Thick thighs save lives

If you are the owner of the thick thighs, you were simply doing your civic duty of saving another person’s life. If you were caught in between the thick thighs, it’s because you were dying and oxygen is expensive. You just found the next best alternative. 

5) Fish bone was stuck in someone’s throat

Do you know how uncomfortable having a fish bone stuck in your throat is? The dick was just pushing the fish bone down. Cheating? God forbid. 

6) It was a prank

So what if it’s not April Fool’s day? Can’t you just prank your partner any day of the week? Ha ha. 

7) It was for science

When you have a hypothesis, you’re meant to carry out experiments to test it out. Your theory was “is Malaria sex greater than Typhoid sex?” When you win your Nobel Prize, just dedicate it to your partner. 

8) Demonic possession

A spirit took control of your body and made you do the nasty, freaky freaky things you did. You never planned it, but demonic possessions don’t really respect anybody. 

For more on what is inside the life, please click here


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 15, 2020

Everyone has something they’re scared of. Some are pretty “normal”, while others might be considered a bit more “random” We asked 11 Nigerians to tell us their worst fears and here’s what they had to say. 1. Mary, 26 I hate saying it out loud, but I’m scared that my husband might die. There’s nothing […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 30, 2021

Like every other thing that comes from Nigeria, your international passport just wants to travel out, enjoy life and flex on the gram but you no get money. *insert clown emoji* So here is everything your international passport wants to say to you. It’s another frustrating day in Buhari’s country. Rain water has entered your […]

July 30, 2021

The subject of today’s Abroad life is a 35-year-old man who has lived many lives. He talks about being rejected three times by the US embassy, the bad state of the Nigerian education system, and how freelancing paid for his japa.  When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria? I’d always passively wanted […]

July 29, 2021

Modern day beauty standards sets a high bar for what society considers attractive. Anything outside the small box is considered unappealing, without consideration for the emotional and mental well-being of people living in those bodies. I met Tayo* through a comment he left on a Zikoko Instagram post about fatphobia, as he had gone through […]

July 29, 2021

Every Nigerian has at least one of these kinds of Uncles in their family 1) Mr I’d get back to you He’s the one that you ask for a favour and he always tells you he’d get back to you. The thing is, he never does. It’ll save everyone’s time and energy if he just […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

July 29, 2021

Every Nigerian has at least one of these kinds of Uncles in their family 1) Mr I’d get back to you He’s the one that you ask for a favour and he always tells you he’d get back to you. The thing is, he never does. It’ll save everyone’s time and energy if he just […]

July 29, 2021

You know how Nigerian universities are, any small thing, “Oppression is Allowed!” To make matters worse, during the everlasting lockdown, many students were hustling to make money and it’s as if everybody has cashed out. So, if you don’t want oppression to kill you, here are some ways to disguise: 1. Get a piercing. If […]

black man covering his mouth
July 29, 2021

We don’t always mean to lie to our parents but sometimes, shit happens. They don’t exactly make being honest easy, either. Sometimes the lies are small and harmless, other times they are big and problematic. Here are eight lies we’ve all told our parents. 1. When we lie that we missed their call Sometimes, we […]

July 28, 2021

Making friends as an adult is a daunting task, and it oftentimes requires a certain level of patience. We’ve come up with a list of signs to look out for before choosing friends. 1. If they press the toothpaste from the middle. This set of people are so used to chaos, they make sure it […]

July 27, 2021

Not everyone gets to be the rich Nigerian aunty, some of us have to be the broke aunty to bring the balance. If you are reading this, you are probably in doubt of what type of aunty you are. There’s a high chance you are a broke Nigerian aunt, and here are some signs to […]

July 27, 2021

With Nigerian Aunties, it is one of two things. Either they make life soft or a living hell for you. There’s the one that is basically your elder sister and the one that is always in your business 24/7. Here are 8 types of Nigerian aunties. 1.The rich Nigerian aunty This type of Nigerian aunty is […]

July 26, 2021

If making money on your own has proved futile, then maybe it’s time to find money other people are not using urgently. Please, pay attention, these are multi-billion dollars tips. 1. Go to Agent Fash Seek out Agent Fashola for special tutorials in the art of finding ‘The Unseen.’ 2. Pray and fast If flesh […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X