Honestly, the don’t teach people how to be a conductor in school because you’d be unstoppable, a potential super villan and you might even unlock hidden parts of your brain. We decided to share this knowledge because you deserve.

1. Ridiculous parkour skills

You could even parkour your way out of traffic, I am jealous.

You know how conductors hop on and off buses at anytime? Imagine if you had that? Spiderman no do reach that one.

2. Megaphone voice

Wouldn’t life be great if people always heard what you said loudly? Will people start to avoid you? Yes, but that’s not the point. Best of all, when you call all those delivery guys to explain your address as usual, they can’t claim that they didn’t hear you.

3.  Singlets as a fashion choice

Personally, I feel like no one should wear this but okay.

The only other set of people that have been able to do this are Igbo men. So, imagine your power, I am shaking in my boots.

4.  Ability to make friends

You and your new friends hanging out.

Y’all are always complaining about how hard it is to make friends as adults, well conductors have mastered it. Of course by friends, I mean LASTMA officials and thugs. So, do with that what you must.

5.  Mathematical skills

Where do I even start? These people have their third eye open because there is no explanation for this. Imagine having this skill? The world is your starting point dear.

6. Good grip

I don’t know where your mind went to, but thats not what I meant sha. Cleanse your mind.

7.  Ability to negotiate with traffic

Even the president hasn’t solved this one, imagine your power>>>

Do you know what it means to be able to solve Nigeria’s traffic issues? Especially in Lagos? You’ve really made it be that.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.