In Nigeria, if you’re single and over 30, it’s a struggle. Even more so if you happen to live in Lagos. Couples everywhere you go, friends and family wondering why you’re still single and trying to set you up with eligible bachelors they know. Sometimes you begin to think that being the second wife or side chick isn’t a bad idea.
But we’re here to tell you that there’s hope. Being single lady in your 30s isn’t the end of the world and we’ll show you how.
This also applies to ladies who are under 30, but feel the pressure from the society to get married.
We gotchu boo.
1. First of all, be happy to be single.
Life’s too short. Don’t spend time wallowing in self-pity. You might not be thrilled to be single, but be determined to be happy.
2. Do what makes you happy.
Why should you worry about the opinion of others, when in the end only yours matter?
3. Enjoy your single state.
As much as much as you might be tired of being single to stupor, there are people in relationships or married couple that wish they were single.
Enjoy your singularity. Be comfortable with it. Pick up projects and immerse yourself in it, experience new things, work on your hobbies.
You probably have things you plan to do when you’re in a relationship. (e.g travel); what stops you from doing it now?
Work to get to a point where you’re happy to be single.
4. Go out more.
Are you a homebody? Do you prefer to stay out indoors, but want to make new friends, expand your network? Then that will be next to impossible.
If you’re tired of being single and don’t want to be, you best get up, clean up and get out there. Unless you’d rather meet people online.
5. Have a healthy work-life balance.
If you dedicate your life and time to your work, and have no social life, you might regret it later. You can’t be jobless either. So learn how to separate business from pleasure.
Work hard and play equally as hard.
6. Take any advice you get with a pinch of salt.
Get ready to be told what you can or can’t do as you get older. Also, be careful of who you ask for advice on your life issues. Not every advice is good advice.
7. Imagine a worst-case scenario.
As Nigerians, we can be overtly religious. But when you’ve been single long enough, it’s time to be realistic. Imagine if you never got married and what you’d do. If you can’t think of anything, start making plans.
Until you’re happy with yourself, you can’t be happy even when you get to be in a relationship. You’d look to the other person to make you happy.
Excerpts and inspiration taken from How to be Single in Your 30s in Lagos by Lape Soetan.
Lape Soetan has a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Ibadan and an MBA from the University of Leicester, UK. She is a communications professional with over 10 years of experience and is the creator of the award-nominated lifestyle blog, www.lapesoetan.com ‘How to be a single woman in your 30s in Lagos’ is her first book. To buy the book VISIT HERE.
Connect with Lape on Twitter, Instagram and Google+.
Earlier in May this year, the Infinix Note12 VIP was launched in all of its glory in grand style on a prestigious yacht. Activities have been ongoing for fans to enjoy the thrill that the VIP devices offer in order to take the lead in work and play. The Infinix Note 12 Pop-Up Shop experience […]
A high court found Uduak Akpan guilty of killing Iniobong “Hiny” Umoren and handed him the death penalty. But what exactly does it mean to be on death row in Nigeria?
Earlier in May this year, the Infinix Note12 VIP was launched in all of its glory in grand style on a prestigious yacht. Activities have been ongoing for fans to enjoy the thrill that the VIP devices offer in order to take the lead in work and play. The Infinix Note12 Pop-Up Shop experience kicked […]
Debo* was Bola’s* older cousin and closest friend. When Debo’s mum — Bola’s favourite aunt — died, they both had different responses to the loss, and their relationship never recovered from it. Here’s Bola’s story:
Remember the guy that sang “Hapuya Lyk That” back in 2007? Well, @Morachiofficial is back. And here’s what we also think about new music from @TiwaSavage, Zinoleesky, @aylodotsol and @DJ_TUNEZ in our #BumpThis playlist:
Colours are more than something the eyes see, they’re also a representation of behaviours and personalities. Take this quiz and we will tell you which colour best describes your personality. Let’s begin.
There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]
At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:
Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]
Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:
You’re getting old o. Yes, you. And it’s International Youth Day, so we decided to drag our 40+ community to tell us what makes them feel like they’re in their 20s again. You won’t be Gen Z for too long, so you may want to take note.
As told to Sheriff I thought I was going to have a typical conversation with Daniel* when we somehow hit on the issue of climate change and what it’s doing to people down south. Then he told me that he’d lost his mother to mercury poisoning. I grew up in Bayelsa in a family of […]
We know we’re the ones that said goats are the best pets. But we’ve come back to say we’re sorry. Those animals are are too wicked. Stick to dogs, please.
Nigerian bachelors have only three meal options: noodles, rice and stew, and bread. It’s time to eat something else, please we beg. Try some of the meals we’ve mentioned.
We’ve all been guilty of saying at least one of these to the lefties in our lives. But for #internationallefthandersday, we’re doing away with all of them.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
In just three weeks, so much has happened on this season of Big Brother Naija. Have you been able to keep up? Do you know all the tea? Take this trivia quiz to find out.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.