15 Things Only People Who Have Been to a Nigerian Hospital Will Understand

September 28, 2015

I always say that Nigerian doctors and nurses really don’t get enough credit for what they do, but as great as they can be, we have all had some pretty unpleasant experiences in the hospital.
So these 15 things should resonate if you’ve ever been to a Nigerian hospital:

1. When that hospital smell hits you.

The smell of drugs, disinfectant, and depression.

2. When you see the queue to see the doctor.

what nonsense

Hay God! Won’t I die like this before the doctor sees me?

3. When someone tries to cut in front of you on the line.

sick pass

Sorry oh, me I don’t want to get well.

4. When the nurse just seems angry that you’re there.

sorry

Sorry my illness distracted you from Telemundo.

5. When the doctor just assumes you have either malaria or typhoid.

typhoid

Is that all?

6. When you try to read the doctor’s prescription to see what’s wrong with you.

Kenan

What the hell is this?

7. When the doctor tells you that you will have to be admitted.

screaming

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

8. When the nurse wants to start an IV and then misses your vein like a hundred times.

meek mill crying

Why are you doing this to me?

9. When the nurse just tells you to take off your trouser…

excuse me

Is that how you used to do?

10. …and then proceeds to injecting you like it’s a nail going in wood.

crying red

Why do you hate me?

11. When the nurse yells at you for throwing up.

sorry confused

Uhm! I’m sorry???

12. When the nurse wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

sleeping pill

Explain yourself.

13. When you first taste the hospital food

gross food

Is this from the morgue?

14. …and realize you will actually get charged for it.

0af47e71392fd5faa04ab7176261f779_720 (1)

My God will fight for me.

15. When you see the final bill.

faint

Well, I’m never falling sick again.


Featured Image: Rise Networks

 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

More from Inside Life

August 6, 2022

If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter. You can’t First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X