Are you worried that the cost of living keeps rising, and it’s proving more difficult to keep sapa at bay? Has spa not gotten to your side yet but you want to ensure it never does by sapa-proofing yourself? Instead of waiting for a destiny helper who’s taking forever to locate you, kuku start selling your body organs or fluid to make money. Legally, of course.

Disclaimer: We in no way encourage illegal organ harvesting or trading. This article is purely intended for humorous purposes.

1. Heart

Remember when relationships showed you pepper and you wished you didn’t have a heart? Now’s the time to make your own wish come true and make some money at the same time.

2. Lungs

Instead of shouting “Step on my neck” or “Who dey breathe?” upandan, just exchange your lungs for some dough and start living the life of your dreams.

3. Blood

Why let witches suck your blood at night for free when you could be cashing in big from selling it? Think hard and make a move fast.

4. Kidneys

Just sell one of these, and you’re made for life. Think of it as helping someone out there who needs it more than you. Besides, you need the cash.

5. Brain

Who said you need a brain to make it in life? All you need is connections, insha’Allah, and money. The sky will be your starting point.

6. Liver

If drinking like a fish hasn’t killed you, then you have nothing to fear. Just a portion of your liver is enough to help you get by.

7. Eggs

Each ovulation cycle you complete monthly is an opportunity for you to be swimming in money. Don’t dull, sis.

9. Eyes

From the moment you were born till now, your eyes have seen enough things to last a lifetime. And each time, you think you’ve seen it all, life goes on to give you a shocker. Why not sell the eyes off and survive solely on imagination?

10. Sperm

You didn’t come to this life to waste your sperm and die. There’s money to be made, and it’s a win-win situation – each time you have an orgasm, and shoot a load, you get paid. Isn’t life good?

See? Sapa has nothing on you!



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.