Childhood was the ghetto because we believed so many ridiculous things. Here are some of the unforgivable things I believed as a child.

Laugh at your own peril:

1) If your food falls on the floor, Satan has eaten it.

Satan can’t do fit-fam in peace without blasphemy.

2) If you want grow taller, eat beans.

Crying from my 5’6 palace of gold. What matters the most is how I perceive myself sha. My personality is at least 6’5.

3) Eating fish head makes you bad at math.

Alexa, play olodo rabata.

4) If you eat chicken bum bum, you will be an amebo.

*Instablog 9ja left the chat*

5) Coconut water makes you dull.

*Sips* tell *sips* me *sips* more.

6) Eating with your left hand means you are eating with the devil.


7) If you eat your meat before finishing your food, you will grow up to be a thief.

Well, bring my mask and a gun.

8) Drinking Garri worsens your eyesight.

Who off light? Why can’t I read this post?

9) If you put banana peel under your armpit and get flogged, you will faint.

I did this and Mr Idowu still gave me twenty strokes that day. Tell me why I didn’t faint.

10) If you sing to Agbalumo, it will be sweet.

Alkaline tears.

What food myths did you believe growing up? Share in the comments section.

Oh, by the way, you should totally read this next: 7 Funny Souvenirs From Nigerian Weddings That Actually…Exist?



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.