Is It Time To Break Up With Your Nigerian Hairdresser?

February 1, 2019
There comes a time in every woman’s life, where she’s faced with a life-altering dilemma – whether or not to move on from her hairdresser. You might have been loyal to your hairdresser for several years, she might be the only one who knows how to make a million braids that won’t take out all of your edges but if you notice these things, it’s time to send that ‘we need to see other people text’.

If you go to her salon at 9am and don’t leave till 9 pm.

Time that you can be using to fight the patriarchy and make money.

If you were using her when all you used to do were cornrows, and now you are doing pixie cuts but she hasn’t levelled up.

Loyalty is great but is it really worth looking like this.

If she keeps lying about knowing what to do.

Aunty I understand, aunty I understand, then she’ll finish and instead of looking like Rihanna you’ll look like Rianatu,

If she doesn’t understand the meaning of the word trim.

Four years natural but your hair is still five inches because your hairdresser is doing big chop for you every month.

She just doesn’t hear word.

As you are explaining a style to her, it’s entering one ear and going out the other. Because she’s an ‘expert’ and knows what’s best for you. That’s why all your wigs are bobs.

She has become one of those hairdressers that’ll leave your hair, go and eat, make five other people’s hair and come back.

Because you are ‘customer’ and you won’t vex.

You’ve been natural for 5 years but every time you go she asks you if she should put small relaxer in your hair.

She’s obviously not willing to let your progress in life, better move on.

She’s always out of town.

You won’t loosen your braids for two months because you are waiting for you hairdresser to come back from someone’s birthday she went to celebrate in Ilorin 1 month ago.

She never ever listens to you. You’ll tell her to make colour 30 braids and she’ll buy colour 2.

You’ve just been managing because her hand is neat. She’s not the only one in town better release yourself from bondage.

If she can’t do without dryer, straightener and a curler all in one day.

You don’t need all of that heat damage honey, run.

If she can’t relax your hair without burning it.

Your scalp will be stinging, there’ll be tears in your eyes and she’ll still tell you ‘e never done’.

Every single time she makes your hair, you’ll have a headache for at least three to five working days.

Yes the hair is neat and fine but nothing is worth that much pain my sister.

Finally, if she just doesn’t get you anymore.

You guys used to be so in sync, you didn’t have to say anything when you walked into her shop she always knew what you wanted. But now things have changed, she doesn’t understand why you’ll want blonde hair or why you went natural.
Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 13, 2020

Nigerian hairdressers are in an untouchable league of their own. You can’t live without them, you can’t live with them. Here are some of the funny and annoying things they love doing: 1. They love their product mixes- Coconut oil, shea butter, and vaseline in one container. It’s never just one product in there, it […]

black woman in the gym
July 25, 2021

I spoke to four Nigerian women about what visiting the gym as a woman is like. Here’s what they had to say: Bibi, 22 I always have a pleasant experience at the gym but there was this day, my friends and I were on the mat and the instructor was helping us stretch our bodies. It […]

May 4, 2021

The culture of invalidating women and shutting down their experiences because people are uncomfortable with the conversation needs to die. The idea of tagging women-centred conversations as an agenda is a shallow and unfair attempt at creating a distraction. To counter this, we have compiled a list of things Nigerian women do not need a […]

consequences of teen pregnancies
June 10, 2021

I read a lot of books growing up about the consequences of teen pregnancies and it was always interesting to me how teenagers were treated without a care in such conversations. Nothing about how they feel or how it happened and how to prevent it — just age-old fear-mongering. In this article, four Nigerian women […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

More from Her

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

woman lying down on bed
September 15, 2021

“He said a lot of things. He cried too. This continued till 5 am. Eventually, I gave in because I wanted to sleep. He is currently a gospel musician in Kaduna.”

11 Nigerian Women Talk About Being Coerced

Read here:

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X