Is It Time To Break Up With Your Nigerian Hairdresser?

February 1, 2019
There comes a time in every woman’s life, where she’s faced with a life-altering dilemma – whether or not to move on from her hairdresser. You might have been loyal to your hairdresser for several years, she might be the only one who knows how to make a million braids that won’t take out all of your edges but if you notice these things, it’s time to send that ‘we need to see other people text’.

If you go to her salon at 9am and don’t leave till 9 pm.

Time that you can be using to fight the patriarchy and make money.

If you were using her when all you used to do were cornrows, and now you are doing pixie cuts but she hasn’t levelled up.

Loyalty is great but is it really worth looking like this.

If she keeps lying about knowing what to do.

Aunty I understand, aunty I understand, then she’ll finish and instead of looking like Rihanna you’ll look like Rianatu,

If she doesn’t understand the meaning of the word trim.

Four years natural but your hair is still five inches because your hairdresser is doing big chop for you every month.

She just doesn’t hear word.

As you are explaining a style to her, it’s entering one ear and going out the other. Because she’s an ‘expert’ and knows what’s best for you. That’s why all your wigs are bobs.

She has become one of those hairdressers that’ll leave your hair, go and eat, make five other people’s hair and come back.

Because you are ‘customer’ and you won’t vex.

You’ve been natural for 5 years but every time you go she asks you if she should put small relaxer in your hair.

She’s obviously not willing to let your progress in life, better move on.

She’s always out of town.

You won’t loosen your braids for two months because you are waiting for you hairdresser to come back from someone’s birthday she went to celebrate in Ilorin 1 month ago.

She never ever listens to you. You’ll tell her to make colour 30 braids and she’ll buy colour 2.

You’ve just been managing because her hand is neat. She’s not the only one in town better release yourself from bondage.

If she can’t do without dryer, straightener and a curler all in one day.

You don’t need all of that heat damage honey, run.

If she can’t relax your hair without burning it.

Your scalp will be stinging, there’ll be tears in your eyes and she’ll still tell you ‘e never done’.

Every single time she makes your hair, you’ll have a headache for at least three to five working days.

Yes the hair is neat and fine but nothing is worth that much pain my sister.

Finally, if she just doesn’t get you anymore.

You guys used to be so in sync, you didn’t have to say anything when you walked into her shop she always knew what you wanted. But now things have changed, she doesn’t understand why you’ll want blonde hair or why you went natural.
Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 10, 2020

Someone knowing that they cannot have sex with a woman unless she is incapable of movement, speech or general control of her senses is the only cause of women being drugged. We spoke to 9 Nigerian women on their experience being drugged. Context warning: Stories could be triggering for people who have either been raped […]

Women Who Love Sports
May 11, 2021

For misogynist reasons, women who love sports are always asked one question or the other when they tell people they love sports. Here are seven of the things women hate they hate the most. 1. ‘Do you understand the rules?’ If you don’t geddifok, of course, they understand the rules. Do YOU understand the rules?  […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

man holding money to his ear
May 12, 2021

Are you tired of waiting for a promotion that doesn’t seem to be coming? We get it, and that’s why we made this guide to getting one. 1. Work hard Work very hard. Show up at work before everybody. Do their work and yours too. You can even go on public holidays to show them […]

May 12, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 50-year-old woman who dated her ex-husband for 12 years and was married to him for 14 years. She talks about leaving him after years of being manipulated, the joy that comes from being a single woman again and life as a divorced Christian woman.

May 11, 2021

If you are part of the ‘’I want what Zikoko writers are on’’ bandwagon, then this article is 100% for you. It’s a short and easy guide to joining us.  1.Tweet your journo request every day.  Yes, this is step one. If you want to talk to people who have turned to yam and are […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

More from Her

May 12, 2021

The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 50-year-old woman who dated her ex-husband for 12 years and was married to him for 14 years. She talks about leaving him after years of being manipulated, the joy that comes from being a single woman again and life as a divorced Christian woman.

Women Who Love Sports
May 11, 2021

For misogynist reasons, women who love sports are always asked one question or the other when they tell people they love sports. Here are seven of the things women hate they hate the most. 1. ‘Do you understand the rules?’ If you don’t geddifok, of course, they understand the rules. Do YOU understand the rules?  […]

May 7, 2021

As a woman with big feet, there are various struggles you would encounter on a daily basis, and some specially when you want to buy new shoes. Here are five things women with big feet can relate to. 1) Shoe sizes are so hard to find Most shoe sizes for women are very limited. If […]

queer
May 7, 2021

As told to Mariam I put a call out for women to tell me the things that affect their mental health most. In Ada’s* message, she said her parents found out she is queer. I was curious about how that played out and I asked more questions. Here’s what she told me: I am the […]

May 6, 2021

Purity culture is usually a combination of religious and cultural beliefs that promote abstinence from sexual activities till marriage. These six Nigerian women share with us how they overcame purity culture. Yinka, 23 A lot of the guilt and shame I felt around sex and decency came from following Christianity. I was taught that I […]

Hedge Witch
May 5, 2021

As told to Mariam I have known Wendy for about three years and during this time, I have watched her go from being irreligious to religious and back to being irreligious. As an irreligious person myself, I was curious about her journey so sometime in March I asked her. Here’s what she told me:   I […]

May 5, 2021

The subject of today’s What She Said is a 34-year-old Nigerian woman who grew up getting everything she asked for. She talks about constantly pursuing enjoyment, and how that led to her leaving her cheating husband and raising her two children independently.  What was it like growing up?  I had a pretty happy childhood. I […]

May 4, 2021

The culture of invalidating women and shutting down their experiences because people are uncomfortable with the conversation needs to die. The idea of tagging women-centred conversations as an agenda is a shallow and unfair attempt at creating a distraction. To counter this, we have compiled a list of things Nigerian women do not need a […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X