I Spend A Lot Of Time Looking At My Vagina And You Should Too

March 12, 2019
Some women look at their vaginas once a month, some once a year, some will rather die, than look down there. Those are probably the same women who treat vagina like a swear word. As for me I take a mirror and flashlight and explore what’s going on with ‘V baby’ whenever I’m bored. Which is a lot of the time.  And here’s what I’ve learned from a decade of self-examinations.

Your vagina is just a part of your ‘vagina’.

Learning the names of all the fun parts that make up my vagina, was one of my earliest bonding memories with it. But somehow I only learned a couple of years ago that ‘vagina’ is even just one of the fun parts and the whole package is called Vulva.

Pineapples don’t do shit.

And I know because I ate pineapples every day for a month and nothing happened. Don’t ask me how I know nothing happened. Our website is rated G.

If you feel like you need to see your obgyn you probably do.

We’ve all been there. Noticed our discharge was unusual or that there was a funky ass smell wafting up from down south. And then it occurs to you, you should see a doctor but you convince yourself that you shouldn’t. Well that’s until your yeast infection goes from an irritating itch to a stinging burn.

My vagina was a lot less scary than I thought it was.

I have a friend who wasn’t sexually active and thought the same hole the penis goes in, is where pee comes out from. She was 22. I have another one who only accidentally discovered her clit when she turned 20. I discovered mine at 13 and I won’t tell you what I was doing when I did.

It’s not enough to look at it, you have to touch it too.

And I’m not even talking about in a sexual way. Just use your hands to feel around for anything that might feel off. If you just happen to get yourself off in the process then it’s a win-win situation. If you are comfortable enough stick your hand up there. Just imagine your finger is a tampon.

I can sniff out my vagina from a sea of vaginas.

I always know what I smell like. I know what I smell like when I’m ovulating. I know what I smell like when I just get off my period. I know what I smell like whenever I see Jason Mamoa go shirtless. Most importantly I know what I smell like when I get a UTI and it’s time to go to the doctors.

It gets a little swollen sometimes.

I learned not to panic if my vagina was slightly swollen, especially if I was self-examining just after watching Magic Mike. Or riding a bicycle too hard (an actual bicycle, get your mind out of the gutter). But that I should definitely be worried if it’s more swollen than a black eye.

Shaving is not my friend.

Whenever I shave, I get bumpy, itchy and uncomfortable. And I’ve come to the realization that it’s honestly just not worth the stress. Now I trim when I need to, and only shave when it’s a special occasion.

Vagina farts are a thing.

The only difference between it and regular farts is that they smell way better and always leave me in fits of laughter.
If you’ve never examined your vagina. Take it slow, you don’t have to do all of this at once. Maybe take it to a dinner and a movie first. Have some wine before you lean back and spread your legs armed with a mirror and a flashlight. Happy exploring.

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