How Did You Find Out Your Younger Sister Was Having Sex?

July 27, 2021

If you found out your younger sex was having sex, how would you react? We spoke to three Nigerian women about how they found out that their younger sisters were sexually active and how they reacted. Here’s what they had to say: 

two women with curly hair

IB, 24

One day, we were gisting and she said,  “You know I’m now having sex right?” The babe no even fear. Although I don’t see sex as a bad thing, I felt bad. I was scared of someone taking advantage of her. She was 19 at the time. 

I repeated all the things I had told her about sex — using protection and vagina health. It didn’t seem like I had anything to worry about because she sounded informed and that made me feel like I did something right, at least.

Now, she comes to me if she has questions or issues like discomfort during sex. 

Vanessa, 26 

My siblings and I have a close relationship, but my younger sister is closer to me. She tells me everything. She’s in university now, and I know she has a boyfriend. She tells me about their relationship issues, and I give her my two cents. 

The first time she had sex, she called me and was like, “Guess what?” I thought it was something else but she told me she just had sex. I felt heartbroken. Maybe because she is the last born. She is  20 years old, but I still see her as a baby. I had to pretend to share her joy because I didn’t want her to feel bad. 

She still calls me to tell me when she has bad sex, and my heart breaks every time. I don’t want my baby to grow up. 

Esi, 25

She was too scared to tell me, so she asked my flatmate to tell me. My flatmate gave her condoms and lube. One evening, when we were all gisting. My flatmate told me. I was shocked but I can’t say I wasn’t expecting it. I knew she had a boyfriend, and I know what I was up to at her age. I tried not to overthink it as my parents would. My flatmate and I spent the rest of the night talking to her about safe sex and since then, we stopped hiding our sexcapades from her. 

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Mariam Sule

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