A Nigerian Woman’s Guide To Dating Apps

April 19, 2019

It’s very hard to make a case against dating apps. Yes, I know there is the occasional unsolicited penis picture you inevitably get. And men who take on sexual harassment as a full-time job. But all of that comes with conventional dating methods too. 

The only difference is that with dating apps you get to decide who and who isn’t what your time as you take your morning pee. 

While Tinder might be the most popular dating app now There are a slew of options to pick from these days. There’s Bumble that forces the girl to make the first move after you match. And Surulere Love made for Nigerians by Nigerians, that lets you dictate the specifications of your Mr. Right, down to his income bracket.

But like with all types of social media, dating apps have their guidelines. Like how poking a stranger on Facebook is just plain rude. Or how stealing a tweet is almost criminal. For Nigerian women, this is the ultimate guide to using dating apps.

If he looks too good to be true…

Then he is probably a catfish using some D-list celeb you’ve never heard about’s picture. Just so you don’t let one of the very few good ones you’ll come across pass you by because of scepticism. Use this nifty tool called – Google reverse image search to search for his picture. If it doesn’t match a micro influencer with 8k followers living in Abuja then, by all means, swipe right sis.

If there’s just one picture he’s a catfish.

In this case it’s always one of two things. It’s either not his picture, and he’s not John Doe who works in Chevron, but Femi living with his parents in Alagbado. Or it’s the one good picture he took 5 years ago, and he looks nothing like that now.

Beware of group photos.

Don’t swipe right if all his pictures are him in a group photo. Odds are that he’ll end up not being who you think he is. You’ll think you are swiping right on his cousin who looks a little like Idris Elba and you guys meet up and you realise he was actually the Segun to the right of Idris Elba who you didn’t look twice at. 

Say thank you next to ‘no hookups’.

Never swipe right on ‘no hookups’. He’s there for hookups, just not paid hookups. He’s going to take you for one dinner date and act very confused then enraged when you decline to follow him back to his place.

Think before you swipe.  

Maybe you are still hurting from a bad breakup. Or you just haven’t gotten laid in a really long time. Don’t just swipe right on anybody. 10s will become 7s and 7s will become 4s.

Look out for red flags.

Look out for red flag words in your conversations with him. ‘I don’t even get feminism’ is equal to misogynist. ‘I like nurturing women’ is equal to ‘I’m looking for a woman who’s going to cook and clean for me’. ‘It was both our faults’ when describing how his last relationship ended is equal to he cheated on his girlfriend. 

And then look out for even more red flags.

If he has a CV type list of preferences don’t even bother with him. ‘Looking for a God-fearing woman, not taller than 5’ 7″, working class, lover of children and proficient in Microsoft word and excel. You are looking to go on a date, not a job interview. You could agree to a date and he’ll ask you to come along with your references.

Most importantly.

If things go well and you end up agreeing to go on a date with him. No matter how much of a nice guy he might seem like always meet somewhere safe and public. Happy hunting!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 22, 2021

What actually makes something expensive? These eleven Nigerian women share the most expensive thing they own. Bimpe, 26 I had a job that paid a lot, and so I used the money to buy some land that cost about 1 million naira. Now, I heard land around that area costs about 1.5 to 2 million […]

zikoko- dating advice
May 5, 2021

I am fascinated by the lives of sex workers because I often wonder how they navigate a hypocritical and judgmental country like Nigeria. Over the weekend, I spoke with a few sex workers I personally knew and asked them if their partners would be willing to speak to me for a story on what it […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

More from Her

What She Said: I Hate the Word “Disabled”
December 7, 2022

This week’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 49-year-old Nigerian woman who lost a leg after an okada accident. She talks about waking up to find a stump where her leg used to be, what it’s like to lose a limb and what she thinks about how people treat amputees.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X