These are interesting times. On one end of the Internet, everyone’s going crazy about the Royal Wedding. On another end, Nigeria’s Rockstar blogger, Linda Ikeji, has carried beleh. On one end again, Linda’s fans are pumped, knowing how much she’d always gushed about children, or adding them. Another end again, many people are wondering how the Celibacy Prefect is having a baby. In an Instagram post which has now been deleted, Linda talked about how she has no regrets, and feels really blessed. We’re happy for her too, because issa baby! So we thought, wouldn’t it be nice to recommend baby names for the cute little one? We have come up with a few names we think would suit the baby boy perfectly.


“Because is the child really from God if we don’t thank God for his goodness and blessing?” Only problem is, one of her cousins probably has this name.


“I mean, we already know O.B.O Baddest! Only right that we have an Omo Mama Olowo. Amen?”


“Lie. Lie that the first person you thought about wasn’t Don Jazzy when you heard of the baby. Just lie.”


Because is it truly from Linda if it doesn’t have Linda Ikeji in it? Ehn? Linda Ikeji TV, Linda Ikeji Social, Linda Ikeji Blog? Linda Ikeji Political Party? Linda Ikeji Baby for President.”


“BONARIO LIVES ON. Is there a Linda Ikeji post that doesn’t have a comment from Bonario that goes “Bonario Lives On”? Should there be a moment in Linda’s life where she doesn’t think of the love she gets from her fans? She has to dedicate a baby name to the hardcore fans in the comments section. It’s only right. It’s in the constitution.”


It means My Friend don’t Kill Me. This one is for all the haters. In truly Nigerian fashion, this is Linda telling them to take their hate and shove it up their ess.


I mean, he said he inspired the pregnancy, even though Linda said he didn’t. But, special mention. Next. 


“Onye Unele. Banana somebody Linda has come a long way hustling to make it in this jungle. Even if this just ends up being the baby’s nickname, we need to thank God for the Banana Glory”


“Linda. Laura. Linus. Are you getting me?”


Otutuego. Plenty money. Period. Any questions? So, as a true Nigerian, you know it is your right to name somebody else’s baby. It’s in the Constitution. What name will you give Linda’s baby?


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