Look, colorism is real. And it shows up even in the smallest things – like how we rate our foods. How, in God’s name does Amala get so much stick but Pounded Yam gets so much free press. It’s like how British tabloids won’t cut black players any slack but Maguire gets a thumbs up for a getting into brawls.

Well, we thought to tell you that these Nigerian foods have enjoyed white privilege for the longest time. But you know what they say with privilege – own it with your chest.

1. Pounded Yam

Pounded Yam is arguably the worst swallow ever, but you won’t hear pim from anyone. It leaves you heavy, is hardly digestible, and is basic. But even Steve Jobs never enjoyed press coverage like this thing does. And the process it takes to make it? If it was black it would have been mixed with cement to plaster houses and help in fixing Nigeria’s housing deficit.

But again, good old colorism – making basic things look exceptional.

2. Fufu

Fufu stinks, smells and is sticky. On top of that you can’t have it by 7pm and use the rest of of your day for anything meaningful – except of course you purposely intend to feel like someone sacrificed to the gods.

But Fufu is still being eaten by actual humans. Why? Light skin.

3. Semo

Okay the Semo slander might overflogged, but Semo as a food would have been erased from national consciousness like a George Owellian novel if it had the slightest bit of melanin. The food tastes like sorrow, and on top of it, is artificial. Imagine doing cosmetic surgery and still turning out meh.

Ah, Semo is hopeless – but it hasn’t died because of white privilege. And we care less about whatever shalaye it was doing in the interview we had with it.

4. Pupuru

I have to admit Pupuru is good people. A dope chow, Pupuru is that very fair chick that sits at the back of the class, doesn’t talk much and is generally reverred as an OG. Not a very popular dish, but if you know you know.

But imagine if pupuru was dark skinned – ah, the slander. People will spit on it and say one thing one thing. Moral: we need new Bey music for black skin foods. Featuring LAX?

5. Tuwo Shinkafa

Tuwo Shinkafa is proper bro, ngl. But imagine if it was black. It probably would have been called ‘Tuwo Blackafa’ – symbolising black strength, grit, and all of those black stereotypes that just needs to die.

Imagine if it Tuwo Shinkafa now had a nappy hair. That’s the part people will be spitting out. You’ll hear: “I don’t eat that black hair part of Tuwo Shinkafa, walahi”.


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