There is the one who never accepts card trips. Even if you are going from Ajah to Iyana-Ipaja.

“Cash only ma, please cancel the trip”.

The rude OG who doesn’t care about ratings anymore.

He does whatever he wants. How can he give you the AUX cord when he is listening to the radio? Do you have manners?

The newbie who starts begging you to rate him 5-stars even before he even drops you off.

“Please ma don’t forget to rate me 5 stars, God bless you”

The one who will give you his whole life story before the trip ends.

Before you know it he’ll have given you his whole family background.

Then there is the one who will take care of you as if you are his child.

Do you want water? Have you eaten today? Is the A/C too much?

The proud one who only drives on the island.

“Sorry aunty I don’t go to the mainland”.

The one who is really a pastor and is only driving as a side gig.

As soon as you enter the car – “Have you heard the word of the Lord today?”

The one who just refuses to use his map no matter how much you beg him.

“Madam, I know this area well”. Next thing you know, you are on your way to Sango Otta instead of V.I.

Then the one who doesn’t even know how to use the map at all.

Everytime it’s – “Sorry sir it’s like my map is not working well today”

The one who will do police style interrogation for you before they come and pick you up.

Where are you going to? Is it card or cash trip? Is the road good? Is there traffic on your street?

The one who is also running ten other businesses. And he’ll advertise all of them to you.

“I also make shirts, and shoes too. If you need someone to print cards I can do it for you”.

The one who never ever talks.

If you like be in the car with him for three hours, he won’t even look at you.

The one who will be two minutes away on the map but will use an hour to get to you.

Whether they stopped to eat on the way or they got lost, you’ll never know.

The one who will turn your trip into a job interview.

“So what’s your name? How old are you? What did you study in school? What do you do for a living?”

The one who always thinks he is in Fast and Furious.

Oga please slow down don’t kill me before I get to my destination.

The one who just moved into your city that week.

“Sorry sir, please which one is third mainland bridge?” If you are a veteran Uber rider, we are pretty sure you’ve met everyone on this list. If you haven’t, how many have you met?


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