Banter Republic of Nigeria: Diezani Calls Out Fraud, Shekau Calls Out Killings, And More

August 14, 2020

Every Friday morning, Zikoko’s new Citizen “Banter Republic of Nigeria” will curate the funniest news stories that made the rounds over the week, including the most absurd reactions to them.


Diezani Alison-Madueke and Abubakar Shekau battle it out for the most ironical fugitives, while Sanwo-Olu’s campaign poster was sign language that he was coming to rob us. Read on:

1. The Vociferous Hushmummy

On Monday, Former Minister of Petroleum Diezani Alison Madueke, who is currently facing allegations of bribery and money laundering in London and Nigeria called out “Yahoo Boys” at a virtual event organised by the Ijaw National Development Group, stating that it was tragic that they were the ones respected in our society.

Nigerians however received the news with deep-seated anger and cynicism, with many calling Diezani a “Hushmummy” – the female replica of Hushpuppy, one of Nigeria’s most notorious internet fraudsters.

Well, we certainly don’t have much to add, except that if Nigeria had a functioning criminal justice system and Diezani had been found guilty under the law and put behind bars, the only thing we’ll be hearing from Diezani now is her lip sync to the new Rihanna album – NOTHING.

2. The Humanity In Him

I told you it’s been a week of ironies, and it only keeps getting better, or worse.

On Wednesday, Boko Haram leader and unarguably Nigeria’s most wanted fugitive, Abubakar Shekau, reportedly condemned the the death sentence handed to Yahaya Shariff Aminu, the Kano singer sentenced to death for blasphemy.

In an audio obtained, Shekau is said to have condemned the killing, stating that Kano itself is the land of “infidels”.

Well, considering that we don’t even know if Shekau is dead or alive, this might just be a catfish account, or statement. But Nigeria does need to fix up with the Sharia law. We’ll end it at that.

3. Sanwo-Olu lo Help Tax

Okay the Sanwo-Olu tweets are actually getting funnier by the hour. Remember we spoke of how the numerous Lagos State taxes are probably intentioned to send you back to your village. Someone has added that his campaign picture was him holding a metaphorical gun with the intention of hustling Lagosians.

And then there’s this:

What do you think about all of this? Also, do share this story using #ZikokoCitizen. Importantly, you need to check back every weekday morning by 10 am for more Citizen stories, here.

Doyin Olagunju

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