We Got Drinking Tips From A South-South Person

July 19, 2019

How we perceive other people is often driven by stereotypes. Non-Igbo people might think all Igbo people are business-oriented. Non-Yoruba people might think all Yoruba people have to put pepper in all of their food including ice-cream. Non-South-South people often think South-South people are alcoholics. 

Now while I can’t speak to the rest of the stereotypes, I can confirm that while we might not be alcoholics the average South-South person especially one who is born and raised in the region can hold their alcohol. 

I decided to ask one of them for tips to keep you from projectile committing and waking up with a nasty hangover the next time you are out drinking. 

On whether or not to eat before you drink

It really depends on the kind of person you are and the kind of day or night you want to have. If you want to get to where you are going quickly, don’t eat before you drink. Skip any mixers, the first couple of shots will go straight to your head. On the other hand, if you prefer a slow build-up, especially if you are in for a long night of partying, then you should definitely eat.

What should I eat?

Anything heavy. Pounded yam, eba, starch. If you eat a large enough plate you’ll even start to get annoyed at how long it’ll take you to get lit. Bread is great for a hangover but it’s like air in your stomach if you eat it before drinking.

Does water really help?

Oh yeah, water works like magic. If you are out all night drinking and you can match your water intake to your alcohol intake, you are guaranteed to have a lit night and not wake up feeling like shit. The only problem is that you’ll pee tire. But the stress of having to take a piss every 5 minutes is worth waking up the next morning without a headache. Except you are at 57 throughout and you have to use the toilets there.

Best hangover cure?

So, here’s what works for me. When I wake up with a hangover, I take a cold shower to really wake me up and down one large stout, mortuary standard. I’m not recommending this to everyone o, because it’s the fastest way to become an alcoholic, I’m just saying it works for me. But before trying anything else, just take a cold shower first, you’ll feel about 30% better.

What about…

Oh, I completely forgot. Another guaranteed hangover cure is piping hot catfish pepper soup. The pepper has to be such that two spoons in your eyes, nose and mouth are streaming. It’ll clear your head, one time.

One thing everyone should know?

Champagne is the devil’s piss and it’s guaranteed to fuck you up every time. Here’s the thing about champagne, it takes its sweet time to hit you. It’s when you are like five or six glasses in that you’ll start regretting your decisions.

People should always…

Eat as they drink. Imagine starting your night at like 10/11 pm with maybe pre-drinks at a friend’s place and consuming only alcohol till like 3/4 am, your body will protest the next morning. Buy chicken wings, buy fries, just eat once or twice somewhere inbetween all of the drinking.

Best advice you’ve heard?

When drinking, the best thing to do is pick your poison and stick to it. You don’t have to drink the exact same thing all night just stick to a general category. Like if you start with vodka stick to other clear spirits like tequila and gin. If you start with whiskey though, just stay on whiskey. And never ever mix champagne with any other type of alcohol. It’s the worst decision you could ever make, I can guarantee you’ll end up with your head down a toilet bowl by the end of the night.

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