You’ve got the perfect plantain (not unripe or overripe). It’s sizzling nicely in hot oil. But you looked away for a second to scroll through Twitter, and golden brown has turned to devil’s charcoal.
With friends and family patiently waiting in your living room to feast, what do you do?
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Protect the crime scene
You’ve messed up the easiest meal to make, and trust me, witnesses will use it against you. Lock that kitchen door until you somehow redeem the dodo.
Change the name to “charred plantain”
As the Sodiq Ologbon that you are, erase “burnt” from your vocabulary. Tell everybody that what you have on the menu is “charred plantain”.
Flip the switch
Chances are since you fried the plantain, you’re most likely going to serve it. Deception is key here. Plate your dodo so that only the good sides face up. If there are no good sides, refer to the next point.
Tell them you’re making gizdodo
Throw in some gizzard, pepper, maggi and salt, and all will be well again. Tell the people eating to expect a hint of bittersweet notes.
We hear gizdodo will be on the menu at HERtitude2023. Join the hottest babes for the hottest women-only party EVER, on May 27 in Lagos. Grab your tickets here.
Become Dr Meredith Grey for dodo
No, I mean it. Grab a fresh pack of razor blades, cut out the burnt parts, and fry the plantain again.
Stall until everyone is famished
People rarely pay attention to the taste of food when hunger strikes. Hold on to that burnt dodo until it’s the only thing they want.
If all this fails, just RUN.
