9 Nigerian Meals We Love to Eat but Never Cook Ourselves

February 26, 2022

Bukkas will always have a special place in our hearts. Why? There are some of your favourite meals you’d say “God forbid” to making, but eat like a chairman when someone else decides to cook it. Here are nine of them:

1. Starch and banga

Southerners love a good serving of banga soup, but you see the stress? First, you’ll wash a whole bag of palm kennels, then boil and pound it with strength only the ancestors can give. You think you’re done? LOL.. Next, you’ll extract the juice to boil for hours. Why all this for food that’ll finish in under ten minutes? After all of that, you’ll now start turning starch with the remaining power you have. No, thank you. If you cook it I will eat sha.

2. Pounded yam

Shout out to the bukkas that continue to do the Lord’s work. Anybody that hates pounded yam is probably a semo lover. Feel free and those are the people to disrespect semo lovers when you see them. As much as pounded yam feels islike an elite masterpiece we need to eat every day, the energy to carry mortar and a pistol is not the soft life we’re here for.

3. Anything made from beans

The only way to eat moi-moi and akara in peace is to buy them. Every other option requires at least two hours of dedication. Yes, there are hacks to washing beans, but who will pick all the stones inside? Let’s not even talk about the people still using leaves for moi-moi. They’ve renounced anything that has to do with enjoyment because, why?

4. Ofada rice and stew

This is a meal strictly for Iya Sukirat down the road to make. Anybody that can get up unprovoked to make ofada rice and stew has received nine lives from the gods. They’re practically cultists. Feel free to beg them for food sha.

5. Fried rice

JSometimes I feel jollof rice is your main boo because fried rice is that expensive, high maintenance side piece. Why do I need to spend half of the time I’ll use to fry tomato and pepper to cut vegetables and other orisirisi for fried rice? And if you comment about the vegetables that are already cut and packed in supermarkets, I will bite you. Stop it.

6. Ekpang nkukwo

If you’re big on delayed gratification, this is the food to really test your patience. You don’t want to be in the house when a Calabar woman decides to cook ekpang nkukwo. Just find somewhere to stay because you will grate cassava tire, and that’s only the beginning. This food literally takes the whole day to cook.

7. Black soup 

This is one food you can’t start and finish on your own. You will wash bitter leaf like it’s white socks after secondary school inter-house sports day. If you’re craving this food, I suggest you practice self care. Pick up a plate and go to Iya Sukirat’s place. 

8. Ukpo Oka (Corn pudding)

It’s the advanced version of moi-moi made from corn. This is a meal you leave for your grandma to cook because only she has the time.. Corn is already stressful to eat, then imagine sitting to take out corn from 30-40 cobs. No dear, wait for grandma or buy it.

9. Abacha

It’s super easy to make, but it always tastes better when someone else goes through the stress of making it. If it’s not from the woman down the road, it ruins the enjoyment in abacha. Try and make it yourself and see.

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