9 Nigerian Meals We Love to Eat but Never Cook Ourselves

February 26, 2022

Bukkas will always have a special place in our hearts. Why? There are some of your favourite meals you’d say “God forbid” to making, but eat like a chairman when someone else decides to cook it. Here are nine of them:

1. Starch and banga

Southerners love a good serving of banga soup, but you see the stress? First, you’ll wash a whole bag of palm kennels, then boil and pound it with strength only the ancestors can give. You think you’re done? LOL.. Next, you’ll extract the juice to boil for hours. Why all this for food that’ll finish in under ten minutes? After all of that, you’ll now start turning starch with the remaining power you have. No, thank you. If you cook it I will eat sha.

2. Pounded yam

Shout out to the bukkas that continue to do the Lord’s work. Anybody that hates pounded yam is probably a semo lover. Feel free and those are the people to disrespect semo lovers when you see them. As much as pounded yam feels islike an elite masterpiece we need to eat every day, the energy to carry mortar and a pistol is not the soft life we’re here for.

3. Anything made from beans

The only way to eat moi-moi and akara in peace is to buy them. Every other option requires at least two hours of dedication. Yes, there are hacks to washing beans, but who will pick all the stones inside? Let’s not even talk about the people still using leaves for moi-moi. They’ve renounced anything that has to do with enjoyment because, why?

4. Ofada rice and stew

This is a meal strictly for Iya Sukirat down the road to make. Anybody that can get up unprovoked to make ofada rice and stew has received nine lives from the gods. They’re practically cultists. Feel free to beg them for food sha.

5. Fried rice

JSometimes I feel jollof rice is your main boo because fried rice is that expensive, high maintenance side piece. Why do I need to spend half of the time I’ll use to fry tomato and pepper to cut vegetables and other orisirisi for fried rice? And if you comment about the vegetables that are already cut and packed in supermarkets, I will bite you. Stop it.

6. Ekpang nkukwo

If you’re big on delayed gratification, this is the food to really test your patience. You don’t want to be in the house when a Calabar woman decides to cook ekpang nkukwo. Just find somewhere to stay because you will grate cassava tire, and that’s only the beginning. This food literally takes the whole day to cook.

7. Black soup 

This is one food you can’t start and finish on your own. You will wash bitter leaf like it’s white socks after secondary school inter-house sports day. If you’re craving this food, I suggest you practice self care. Pick up a plate and go to Iya Sukirat’s place. 

8. Ukpo Oka (Corn pudding)

It’s the advanced version of moi-moi made from corn. This is a meal you leave for your grandma to cook because only she has the time.. Corn is already stressful to eat, then imagine sitting to take out corn from 30-40 cobs. No dear, wait for grandma or buy it.

9. Abacha

It’s super easy to make, but it always tastes better when someone else goes through the stress of making it. If it’s not from the woman down the road, it ruins the enjoyment in abacha. Try and make it yourself and see.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 16, 2020

In my humble stint as a kitchen rat, these are some of the most frustrating struggles that I have experienced: 1) Oil splash. I don’t fry anything for this reason. I can’t be playing hide and seek in my kitchen because of hot oil. My worst fear is that oil will enter my eye and […]

June 26, 2020

To the dismay of my rapidly expanding waistline, I’m the biggest bread fan. I consume it almost daily, in all of its many glorious forms, from sliced to Agege. One of the most important things to ensure the optimal enjoyment of bread is carefully selecting the accompaniment to go with it. There are several options, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 18, 2022

Last weekend, Orijin, the custodian of culture was the toast of the Big Brother Naija Saturday night party-themed Orijinal Ankara party. Saturday night parties are the highlights of Big Brother Naija weekends and Orijin delivered with melodious afrobeat music, flamboyant fashion, and its unique taste. The Level Up housemates partied away decked in stylish Ankara […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from Chopist

ogogoro goes upmarket
August 14, 2022

For decades, Ògógóró, a Nigerian traditional palm spirit, was illicit – despite being popular. Lagos-based entrepreneurs Lola Pedro and Chibu Akukwe have embarked on a mission to restore its legacy, by offering a premium version.

August 11, 2022

On the days you’re too broke to be restaurant hopping, these 9 cooking hacks may be your only way to survive. And if you don’t learn at least one of them before 30, there’s no hope for you again.

August 8, 2022

Dammy lost a lot of weight in 2021. What she didn’t know was that her method of losing weight was going to come back and bite her in 2022. In this article, she talks about binge-eating and the effect it’s had on her mental and physical health.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X