Shayo na bastard – believe me that’s a timeless quote. Because if you’re not careful, some alcoholic drinks will really make you look up to the sky and tell God to come downstairs.

If you don’t want to misyarn, please and please, avoid from these drinks. Don’t say we didn’t warn you – before you look your boss in the eye and complain about his tie.

1. American Honey

Contains 71 proof (35.5%) alcohol. Will make you speak in tongues even if you have never stepped into a church. Only for strong people.

My advice? Caveat emptor, that meins, “let the buyer beware”.

2. Bourbon Whiskey

The Bourbon Whiskey is a type of American Whiskey or distilled spirit made from corn, going as far back as the 1850s.

A lot of whiskey brands are classified as Bourbon Whiskeys, and the average alcohol content is 62.5%. If you near it and end up calling your gateman “Zaddy”, that’s on you.

3. Gordon’s London Dry Gin

People are currently dragging someone on the bird app because of what Gordon’s Dry Gin did to her:

Gordon’s is a type of London’s dry gin that has been produced since 1769. Contains 37-43% alcohol, depending on location. If you have anger issues, DO NOT TASTE.

4. Captain Jack Cafe Rum

Ah, Captain Jack. Agba. The cause of many a needless vituperation. Manufactured in Lagos, Nigeria, and contains 40% alcohol, including caffeine.

My advice? Pour to the ground and appease the gods before drinking. Or else…

5. Wasalaye Comprehensive Bitters

No, this is not the name of a high school. This is Wasalaye comprehensive bitters. Meaning: “You will explain comprehensive bitters”.

Contains 44.7% alcohol content. Of course, you will explain. You will sit down in a gutter and explain. Wa shalaye. Sh’o lo stupid ni?


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.