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  • Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is many things. Writer, Artiste (ah mean she had that song with Beyonce and everything). Bad belle people will call her a feminist troublemaker, but it’s not her fault that she likes to speak her mind, is it? One thing that CNA also is a bad ass fashion killer, and here are ten times her outfits nearly killed us dead:

    1. That time she was looking like a very fashionable bumblebee:

    2. That time she was looking just absolutely flawless:

    3. That time she was serving serious black and white inspiration:

    4. Who says you cannot cover up and still slay anyhow?

    5. The bahdest that ever liveth!

    6. That time she brought the runway look to life:

    7. Have you ever seen a set of colours go together so well?

    8. That time she was busy looking like a peng ting:

    9. That time she giving us life in white:

    10. All hail the slay queen!

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/gist/things-artist-hair-will-make-go-wawu/

  • A group of people have written a petition to the Lagos State House of Assembly to take action to stop harassment in Lagos markets.

    The petition was submitted on the 30th of May and we could not be happier.

    Particularly for those who have been victims at one point or the other and guys who have witnessed the harassment first hand.

    Like this guy who legit went hulk on the guy trying to harass his wife at the market.

    And for this woman who has gone through what many women go through daily:

    Someone cannot even shop in peace again:

    Really, these streets aren’t safe, especially for women:

    https://twitter.com/EniolaErhuvwu/status/870012517187112960

    So this petition is making people very happy.

    We just hope that Lagos lawmakers really decide to take action to stop harassment on these streets.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/14-things-girls-do-that-guys-will-never-understand/

  • 1. When we say we have nothing to wear, it really means we don’t know WHAT to wear.

    It’s really not a lack of choices, just indecision.

    2. When we say no, SOMETIMES we really mean not right now.

    But that’s only sometimes o. Other times, a no will always be a no.

    3. When we don’t tell you what’s wrong, it’s because we’re secretly expecting you to know and to say it before we have to.

    4. That buying underwear thing isn’t about being cheap, we’ve just seen your underwear and we think you need a glow up.

    5. Sexy time noises has nothing to do with your penis. NOTHING.

    And this is because sometimes…

    Sorry, not sorry.

    6. We’re always right. ALWAYS.

    And even if we end up not being right, later on, we will still be. Just watch and see.

    7. We don’t just like missionary because it’s easy, it’s because it keeps the ass within reach.

    8. And when you catch us starting at your back, we’re actually secretly looking at your ass.

    Oh, did you think you guys are the only ones that enjoy looking at ass?

    9. Yes, heels can be painful and uncomfortable, but we love the way we feel when we wear them.

    Wearing heels is not about getting a guy to notice us, it’s about feeling on top of the world.

    10. When we look at you like this…

    …we’re really wondering how to kill you in your sleep.

    11. Sometimes when we’re upset, it’s not about you, we really just want food.

    12. We love big bags because they can carry EVERYTHING we need or think we might need and we like to be prepared.

    13. We’re actually secretly control freaks and that’s why we like to know everything.

    14. This is the real reason girls go to the toilet together:

    Yes, all your suspicions were correct.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/14-embarrassing-things-guys-can-never-tell-girls/

  • You might have seen some pretty amazing things done to African hair, but I bet you’ve never seen anything like this.

    This Ivorian artist @laetitiaky does the most amazing things with her hair. My people, you prolly haven’t seen anything like this before!

    1. The star of David:

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BNe4v_ghKnU/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    2. The African Medusa.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BOunjUDjSIi/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    3. The Tree Of Life.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BPktFnODcZw/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    4. Mama Africa!!!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BQ8FG4hFd7K/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    5. Cute lil’ bunny!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BSO8AfBg6uS/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    6. From Africa to the world!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BTR6ThfF-Da/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    7. The dancing African Queen.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BTepEukltcE/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    8. Hello World!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BUrOnUWlq1a/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    9. Yaas! African hair rocks!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BUrPtCfFGZt/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    10. African hair love!

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BUtewbnFKg2/?taken-by=laetitiaky

    11. Oju igo.

    12. Selfie nation.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/10-absolutely-terrifying-moments-in-the-life-of-the-average-nigerian/

  • Domestic Violence is a serious social issue.

    And after many years of it being swept under the carpet, Nigerians are finally facing it.

    Thanks to social media, we’re hearing of more cases, speaking up about those cases and even getting justice for the victims.

    But as much as social media has served as a platform for advocates to speak up against Domestic Violence, it has also served as a means for different people who feel like they know shit to come and spit what they think is “wisdom” in our eyes.

    Suddenly, everybody thinks they know the golden rule to stopping domestic violence once for all.

    So when Pete Edochie’s son, Yul Edochie, also started dropping them tips like it was hot eba, the Internet went:

    In the gospel according to Yul, Domestic Violence can be stopped if the woman learns to “zip up”, among other things:

    But we’re having a hard time understanding what he is saying.

    Is respect not supposed to be reciprocal?

    And how about we stop using that “We are Africans” thing as an excuse for nonsense?

    Can we NOT use culture to hide our wrongdoing?

    Why does it have to be the woman’s job to keep the peace?

    And really, if keeping quiet worked for his mother, it doesn’t mean it’ll work for every woman.

    In finality, his advice is really not wanted.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/8-things-everyone-who-used-to-be-the-teachers-pet-will-immediately-understand/
  • There were some good things about being a teacher’s pet:

    1. You’re always the default person to write the names of noisemakers.

    2. You always know what everyone scored in the class test or exam.

    Because you were the one that recorded it for the teacher.

    3. Seniors are always afraid to punish you for fear of incurring the teacher’s wrath.

    So you walk around like there is boil in your armpit as per “The Untouchable”.

    4. You’re always exempt from general class punishments.

    Because your teacher will be like, “I’m sure you were not part of them”.

    5. Even if all your classmates are shouting:

    And you were even the leader sef.

    6. So because of that, your classmates almost always end up hating you.

    7. You can’t make any mistake because your punishment is always twice as severe.

    8. And you’re always the first to get called to answer a question.

    It’s not the teacher’s fault, it’s just that it’s only your name they can remember.

    If you used to be a teacher’s pet do like this:

    Let us know how many people we’re going to stop talking to now.

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/gist/nigeria-is-set-to-launch-a-satellite-into-space-but-not-everyone-is-excited-about-it/

  • So tomorrow, Nigeria will be launching a satellite into space!

    Ikr!

    The satellite will be launched in partnership with four other countries; Japan, Ghana, Mongolia and Bangladesh, and would be launched into space from the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida, USA.

    The Nigerian CubeSat, which is called; NigeriaEdusat-1, is designed, built and owned by the Federal University of Technology Akure (FUTA) in collaboration with National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA) Abuja, Nigeria and Kyushu Institute of Technology, Japan.

    The satellite is going to be launched on Thursday June 1st at 10:55pm and it is the first ever university owned satellite to be launched in Nigeria.

    WAWU! To infinity and beyond!

    Which should mean a lot of Nigerians should be doing like this:

    Right? Wrong.

    While some Nigerians are like this:

    Like these guys:

    Others are like:

    Like this guy:

    Meanwhile, this guy has a lot of questions:

    And this guy would really just want to know how the satellite thing will consign him.

    But really, can’t we all just be happy and move on?

    Really, can’t we?

    More Zikoko!

    https://zikoko.com/list/10-absolutely-terrifying-moments-in-the-life-of-the-average-nigerian/

  • 1. When you just arrived at the party and you hear jollof rice has finished.

    2. When you’re next in line at your favourite bukka and they say the dodo has finished.

    3. When you just get down from a cab and you can’t find your phone/wallet.

    4. When the Danfo conductor asks you for your money and you can’t find your wallet.

    5. Driving past Redemption Camp during a convention.

    6. When you use your last money to go to the ATM and it says, “temporarily unable to dispense cash”.

    7. When you get a debit alert but the ATM said transaction unsuccessful.

    8. When your Nigerian parents call you by your full name.

    9. Driving through Lekki during the rainy season.

    10. When you’re just about to iron and NEPA takes the light.

    https://zikoko.com/list/weird-rituals-nigerian-women-perform-sweet-lovemaking/

  • Beyonce isn’t the only one paying homage to the goddess Osun.

    This choir, the London Lucumi Choir, specializes in songs for Osun, the great Yoruba goddess.

    The songs are sung in Lucumi, a derivative dialect of the Yoruba language.

    But you can hardly tell the difference. Just watch:

    https://twitter.com/Lucumichoir/status/867406076517511168

    Just hear that cute little girl sing.

    If you’re Yoruba and you can’t even say “good morning” in the language do like this;

    https://zikoko.com/list/weird-rituals-nigerian-women-perform-sweet-lovemaking/
  • Here’s a list of a couple things Nigerian women do to get into the groove when it’s sexy time:

    1. Have a cool shower.

    Gotta keep the surface area clean and smelling fresh. Might as well even trim the edges a little while we’re at it.

    2. Remove wig.

    No need letting the wig fall off by itself “in the heat of the moment”, or allow one man to come and pull it from your head in the name of making love.  Better to just jejely remove the thing and keep it safe. Brazillian wigs don’t come cheap.

    3. Tying a headscarf to protect natural hair.

    Especially for the naturalistas, this is very important. Somebody cannot come and have a bad hair day the following day just because of some lil’ lovin’ from the night before.

    4. Removing make up

    Acne is very real. And in order not to look like you just fought with your neighbour, a girl has gotta remove that layer of foundation and eyeliner before the thing clogs up all her pores. It’ll also help the “morning after” glow to shine very well sha.

    5. Brush teeth

    A girl has got to keep everywhere clean before doing the deed so that if she sleeps off, her morning breath will not smell like Lagos gutter.

    6. Practicing seduction tricks in front of the mirror.

    7. Play some music to get in the zone.

    It’s SEXY TIME! https://zikoko.com/gist/nigerians-dragging-american-singer-stealing-phynos-song/