1. Home Alone
2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
4. A Christmas Carol
5. Frosty the Snowman
6. Jingle All The Way
7. The Polar Express
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1. “Guy, the pad is slippery. Who used it last?”
If you didn’t eat so much, I wouldn’t be losing.
2. Chill, let’s restart. There was something in my eye when you scored that 5th goal.
No, it was sand not my tears.
3. It’s not my fault I lost, you were talking too much. It’s distracting na.
Your voice is too loud.
4. “Let me use that pad. You gave me the bad one, scammer”
The pad is hot even… You knew it was bad.
5. This seat isn’t comfortable. It’s giving me back pain.
So I must break my back over FIFA
6. “Is this FIFA 2020? I only play FIFA 2012”
Why are you bringing a different game for me?
7. “Put on the AC, how am I supposed to play in this heat. Am I a snake?”
Whether you want to cook hotdog in this heat. Fool.
8. I like Call of Duty even. You know i’m not a sports person
I only play shooting games, you know na.
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1. I know i’m broke, but I need to treat myself too
2. I can start saving tomorrow. Today, I spend
3. When money just enters your account and you remember one shoe you always wanted to buy
4. Deals are so attractive when you just get money
5. When you’re hungry all the time all of a sudden
6. When one spirit will just push you to spend
7. When you check your account balance and the atm screams
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If you’re like me, you never like to stress yourself at all
Cooking is a no-no, it has too much work
Sometimes you wish you could have a servant that made food for you
Well, look no further. In the very near future, everyone’ll have a robotic chef to do all their cooking
Now we can get back to the things that are really important, like being fat and lazy.
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1. Jolloficus-Ricicus
2. Generatiamus
3. Agua-Bagua
4. Inlaws-mobilio
5. Morsel-diffindo
6. Transportium-prohibere
7. Frigidum
8. Incend-oleum
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1. “If i hear peem”
2. “If you move your hand, i’ll add more”
3. “Oya, hold your lips like this”
4. “Stand on that tile and don’t move an inch”
5. “Don’t beg me, it’ll only make it worse”
6. “If I let my hand touch you, you’ll see heaven”
7. I didn’t kill my mother so you won’t kill me
8. “Did you just raise your hand to block me? You want to box me”
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1. …Because I’m broke?
2. …My brother, do you think bag of rice is cheap?
3. …Is this a joke?
4. …You know there’s recession ba?
5. …If you wanted me to beg, why didn’t you just say it
6. …Oya I’m begging, I take God beg you
7. Please…my brother, I’m so hungry.
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1. “They just released a new textbook that’s compulsory for exams”
2. “We have one excursion like this, we need to rent a bus to take us”
3. “Before we graduate we need to do one small clearance like this”
4. “Medicals are coming up soon o. E cost small”
5. “They said we have to pay faculty dues this week”
6. “They just renovated the hostel…the price doubled”
7. “They said they want to strike unless we pay their union fees”
8. “They’ve increased our school fees”
9. “We’re doing one presentation like that and we have to pay research fees”
10. “We’re doing one experiment like this and we need to buy a special lab coat”
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1. When someone mentions reporting you to the boss
2. When someone from another department sends you on an errand
3. When they hire a new person and you’re now the senior worker
4. How you sit down at your desk
5. When someone that used to bully you at the office now needs your help
6. How you look at your phone when you get a work text at home
7. When someone threatens to fire you
8. When they actually fire you for slacking off
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1. When you take the first spoonful
2. Then the taste hits you
3. But the person that cooked it is staring at you
4. You’re there trying to smile while you’re thinking…
5. You’re dying and smiling like it’s a 5-star meal
6. You swallow and nearly faint
7. The person offers you more and you start to wonder if you’re really going to die now
8. When you realise this is just the first spoon, there’s still a whole plate in front of you
