Jola Ayeye, Author at Zikoko!

Want to know the mama that runs the church? From her iconic strut to her searing look, here’s a 16-step guide on how to spot the first lady in a Nigerian church from a mile away.

1. How she walks into the service:

She has arrived!

2. The type of hats she wears to church:

The bigger the better.

3. How she and the head of the women’s group looks at the choir when they sound off:

Can you imagine?

4. When she says, “Can I have a few more minutes?”

You’re going to be there for like one hour.

5. How she looks on the days she is coming to address the “youth”:

Funky mama!

6. How she answers when you greet her:

Okay oh!

7. The look she gives you when you walk past her without greeting:

Don’t you value your life?

8. Her reaction to everything:

As a holy mama!

9. When the pastor cracks a joke, she’s like:

If nobody will laugh for her husband, she will laugh.

10. When she agrees with a point the preacher has made.

“That’s a real word right there.”

11. How she catches the Holy Spirit!

Hallelujah!

13. When she sees something she doesn’t like.

Jesus is the master key.

14. How your parents greet her even though they are older:

“Ah mummy good morning!”

15. How she drops the microphone when the ushers are wasting time and she’s ready to leave the stage:

Mama waits for no one!

16. How she and her association of scary church aunties roll through:

She did not come to play with you heathens. She came to pray!
1. When you get that first credit alert.

I’m now a bad guy!
2. When all the debit alerts enter and the money starts disappearing.

Na wa oh!
3. When your parents no longer dash you money anyhow.

But I am still in need now!
4. When your siblings start expecting you to buy them all sorts of things.

My friends you better get out!
5. When borrow-borrow family members think you are now an ATM.

You and who please? The Lord will provide for you.
6. When you start realising how valuable every single naira is.

Wow!
7. When your friends start bringing their aso ebi.

“It’s not in my culture to buy aso ebi and I don’t want to offend the gods.”
8. When you start seeing “bank maintenance charge”.

What does that one mean?
9. When unexpected expenses come out of nowhere and reduce your salary to chicken change.

Lord help me!
10. When you realise you still have to pay taxes, insurance and pension contribution.

AH!
One of the best and worst parts of social media is how it has changed relationships!

One moment you’re laughing at a similar joke, the next thing dm, the next thing love is in the air!

But because human beings are professionals at behaving somehow, the love can sometimes miss road.

And you wonder how you got yourself into this nonsense situation!

Because we love you, Zikoko made a video where people spoke about the ups and downs of finding love on social media.

If you can relate (which we are sure many of you can), tell us about your experiences in the comments section. If you really enjoyed this and would like to share your thoughts and ideas in one of our videos, sign up here!
After almost 50 days in the wilderness (yes, we know he travelled to London), President Buhari is back.

He landed this morning in Kaduna, and then took a helicopter to Abuja.

Fellow Nigerians, rejoice! for your able leader has returned!

The first lady, Aisha Buhari shared this picture (we can’t lie, it’s quite cute) on her twitter page.

https://twitter.com/aishambuhari/status/840127111356542976

Presidential love is sweet oh!

However, according to some early reports, it seems like Vice President Osinbajo is still in charge while President Buhari continues to rest.

After more than 40 days, more resting? And you will collect full salary and keep your job? All those who want to be President say I!

This is us, wondering what exactly is going on in this country.

This is also us, hoping Daddy Bubu brought back chocolate and original charger for us.

Anyway, now that he’s back we hope the welfare of Nigeria is placed front and centre because there is so much work to be done.

So guys, what are your feelings on the President’s return? Are you happy? Excited? Nonchalant? Let us know!
1. Today is International Women’s Day, and we are very excited!

2. We know many people are going to celebrate important female figures from past and current history and we love that!

3. But today we want to let all the regular ladies know that they deserve celebration too!

4. First of all, we slay hard at school, getting that education and conquering all those textbooks.

5. And we slay hard at work, breaking stereotypes and doing our part (and more) for the growing global economy.

6. Did we mention the millions of women that push out babies every day like it’s nothing.

7. Then go on to be primary caregivers, nurturing young minds and bodies to do and be better than them.

8. There’s also our amazing homemakers, who provide trillions of dollars worth of services for free! Often ignored and derided in society.

9. Not to talk of the women out there combining work, school and motherhood!

10. There are women breaking cultural moulds and doing it quietly, today is for you!

11. Choosing to be more than just an appendage to a man, forging their own path even when nobody approves.

12. And to the women out there that feel under appreciated, worn out, tired and defeated on many days, today is for you!

13. Happy International Women’s Day
1. So after making mouth for weeks, it’s finally time for you to show everybody what you can do in the kitchen.

2. Especially since you have been criticising everyone else’s cooking.

3. This is you, entering the kitchen with pride and confidence.

4. When people ask you if they can help, you’re like:

5. This is you, suffering to cut all the onions by yourself now that you’ve done shakara.

6. When you forget you handled a lot of raw pepper and then touch your face.

7. When all of a sudden the food you are cooking starts looking like sacrifice.

8. Then the smell of the food is more of an odour than an aroma.

9. Meanwhile, all your friends and family are looking at you, like:

10. And you are wondering who you offended.

11. Now everyone is waiting for their food, like.

12. Then you finally bring out the rubbish you prepared.

13. And everyone laughs at you, like:
1. So it’s Sunday morning, and instead of allowing you rest your mother has started her wahala!

2. First, she starts singing praise and worship off key, because she is a professional alarm clock.

3. While you’re still finding your bearings she starts shouting about church.

4. This is her face, when you say you’re not going.

5. This is you, by the time she has finished “advising” you to follow her.

6. When you’re ready and she starts attacking your clothes.

7. Meanwhile, you’ve noticed she’s still not ready oh!

8. Then you go and change and you are all waiting for her like:

9. When she’s ready and then starts acting like you have been wasting her time.
Junior Chamber International Ten Outstanding Young Persons (JCI TOYP) programme is a formal way of recognising young people that excel in their chosen fields.

The awards have existed since 1983, and have honoured 200 people from more than 50 countries.

There are also JCI national awards and some of the Nigerian recipients have included Japheth Omojuwa, Gbenga Sesan, Kanu Nwankwo and Linda Ikeji.

On the international platform, Nigerian recipients have included Ray Ekpu (1988), Dr. Modupe Osho (1996) and Dr. Ola Orekunrin (2013).

Global Honourees are nominated by the national awards committee also get to be honoured in person at the yearly JCI World Congress. This year’s edition is slated for Amsterdam in Netherlands on November 8, 2017 with an all expense paid trip for nominees.

There are 10 categories, including medical innovation, cultural achievement and business/economics/ entrepreneurial achievement.

So if you know someone that is currently doing incredible things in their chosen field, what are you waiting for! Nominate them HERE…
1. So at the beginning of the year, you said you were going to be healthier.

2. You determined to become a card carrying member of FitFam.

3. In fact, some of your friends joined you!

4. But it’s now February and no one is to be found!

5. It’s just you, lone soldier.

6. This is you, running your bumbum away in the gym.

7. Your former comrades are laughing at you, like.

8. Every time you see rice, bread or cake you can’t have, you’re like:

9. Meanwhile you’re not sure this might have been the best idea anymore!

10. All your clothes don’t really fit anymore.

11. And there isn’t any money to buy new ones.

12. People in church keep asking you if you’re suffering.

13. And your mother believes you are rude because you no longer eat all her food.

14. But keep doing you, dying in the gym and saying no to rice.

15. When you reach your final form, they will all know!
1. When everyone starts asking for your husband or wife 20 minutes after your graduation.

2. When you are till looking for a job but your parents behave like you are just playing.

3. When all the job offers are looking for a fresh graduate with 2 years experience.

4. When you see your salary offer, and it’s at least 50% less than you expected.

5. When everyone in the office treats your boss like one alpha and omega, you’re like:

6. Now that you have a job, this is you when your mates are talking!

7. When you are already tired of life in the office one month into your job.

8. When you find out how much partners are earning and it’s like your salary is not up to their lunch allowance.

9. When people start trying to borrow money because they heard you have a job.

10. This is you, torn between a miserable working life and happy unemployment.

1. How she walks into the service:

2. The type of hats she wears to church:

3. How she and the head of the women’s group looks at the choir when they sound off:

4. When she says, “Can I have a few more minutes?”

5. How she looks on the days she is coming to address the “youth”:

6. How she answers when you greet her:

7. The look she gives you when you walk past her without greeting:

8. Her reaction to everything:

9. When the pastor cracks a joke, she’s like:

10. When she agrees with a point the preacher has made.

11. How she catches the Holy Spirit!

13. When she sees something she doesn’t like.

14. How your parents greet her even though they are older:

15. How she drops the microphone when the ushers are wasting time and she’s ready to leave the stage:

16. How she and her association of scary church aunties roll through:

1. When you get that first credit alert.

2. When all the debit alerts enter and the money starts disappearing.

3. When your parents no longer dash you money anyhow.

4. When your siblings start expecting you to buy them all sorts of things.

5. When borrow-borrow family members think you are now an ATM.

6. When you start realising how valuable every single naira is.

7. When your friends start bringing their aso ebi.

8. When you start seeing “bank maintenance charge”.

9. When unexpected expenses come out of nowhere and reduce your salary to chicken change.

10. When you realise you still have to pay taxes, insurance and pension contribution.

One of the best and worst parts of social media is how it has changed relationships!

One moment you’re laughing at a similar joke, the next thing dm, the next thing love is in the air!

But because human beings are professionals at behaving somehow, the love can sometimes miss road.

And you wonder how you got yourself into this nonsense situation!

Because we love you, Zikoko made a video where people spoke about the ups and downs of finding love on social media.

After almost 50 days in the wilderness (yes, we know he travelled to London), President Buhari is back.

He landed this morning in Kaduna, and then took a helicopter to Abuja.

Fellow Nigerians, rejoice! for your able leader has returned!

The first lady, Aisha Buhari shared this picture (we can’t lie, it’s quite cute) on her twitter page.

Presidential love is sweet oh!

However, according to some early reports, it seems like Vice President Osinbajo is still in charge while President Buhari continues to rest.

After more than 40 days, more resting? And you will collect full salary and keep your job? All those who want to be President say I!

This is us, wondering what exactly is going on in this country.

This is also us, hoping Daddy Bubu brought back chocolate and original charger for us.

Anyway, now that he’s back we hope the welfare of Nigeria is placed front and centre because there is so much work to be done.

1. Today is International Women’s Day, and we are very excited!

2. We know many people are going to celebrate important female figures from past and current history and we love that!

3. But today we want to let all the regular ladies know that they deserve celebration too!

4. First of all, we slay hard at school, getting that education and conquering all those textbooks.

5. And we slay hard at work, breaking stereotypes and doing our part (and more) for the growing global economy.

6. Did we mention the millions of women that push out babies every day like it’s nothing.

7. Then go on to be primary caregivers, nurturing young minds and bodies to do and be better than them.

8. There’s also our amazing homemakers, who provide trillions of dollars worth of services for free! Often ignored and derided in society.

9. Not to talk of the women out there combining work, school and motherhood!

10. There are women breaking cultural moulds and doing it quietly, today is for you!

11. Choosing to be more than just an appendage to a man, forging their own path even when nobody approves.

12. And to the women out there that feel under appreciated, worn out, tired and defeated on many days, today is for you!

13. Happy International Women’s Day

1. So after making mouth for weeks, it’s finally time for you to show everybody what you can do in the kitchen.

2. Especially since you have been criticising everyone else’s cooking.

3. This is you, entering the kitchen with pride and confidence.

4. When people ask you if they can help, you’re like:

5. This is you, suffering to cut all the onions by yourself now that you’ve done shakara.

6. When you forget you handled a lot of raw pepper and then touch your face.

7. When all of a sudden the food you are cooking starts looking like sacrifice.

8. Then the smell of the food is more of an odour than an aroma.

9. Meanwhile, all your friends and family are looking at you, like:

10. And you are wondering who you offended.

11. Now everyone is waiting for their food, like.

12. Then you finally bring out the rubbish you prepared.

13. And everyone laughs at you, like:

1. So it’s Sunday morning, and instead of allowing you rest your mother has started her wahala!

2. First, she starts singing praise and worship off key, because she is a professional alarm clock.

3. While you’re still finding your bearings she starts shouting about church.

4. This is her face, when you say you’re not going.

5. This is you, by the time she has finished “advising” you to follow her.

6. When you’re ready and she starts attacking your clothes.

7. Meanwhile, you’ve noticed she’s still not ready oh!

8. Then you go and change and you are all waiting for her like:

9. When she’s ready and then starts acting like you have been wasting her time.

Junior Chamber International Ten Outstanding Young Persons (JCI TOYP) programme is a formal way of recognising young people that excel in their chosen fields.

The awards have existed since 1983, and have honoured 200 people from more than 50 countries.

There are also JCI national awards and some of the Nigerian recipients have included Japheth Omojuwa, Gbenga Sesan, Kanu Nwankwo and Linda Ikeji.

On the international platform, Nigerian recipients have included Ray Ekpu (1988), Dr. Modupe Osho (1996) and Dr. Ola Orekunrin (2013).

Global Honourees are nominated by the national awards committee also get to be honoured in person at the yearly JCI World Congress. This year’s edition is slated for Amsterdam in Netherlands on November 8, 2017 with an all expense paid trip for nominees.