One of the things students enjoy about university is the noticeable absence of parents. Hm, freedom. But the thing is lecturers are kinda like parents, only that they use different titles.
I had a lot of “E b things” moments when I was in university. The vice-chancellor of my uni liked to throw in the ‘in-loco parentis’ line at every chance he got. I was in my second or third year when he made his ultimate Nigerian parent move — we were protesting something (I don’t even remember what it was). He didn’t have time for nonsense, so he went to the school radio station to announce that he’d suspended academic activities and shut the school down for two weeks. The man basically told us to get the hell out of his school. That was the uni equivalent of your parents sending you to your room to think about your many sins.
Anyway, if you don’t see the similarities between the two sets of people yet, the rest of this post should open your eyes.
1. They are both hung up on respect
A Nigerian parent will question your home training if you don’t call them mummy/daddy, even if they’re not your actual parents. A Nigerian professor will act out when you don’t address them by their proper title. We know you put in the work to get that title but be calming down sometimes.
2. They try to be sarcastic and do a poor job of it
“Put it on my head” is an expression every Nigerian has heard from their parents. While a Nigerian lecturer won’t exactly tell you this, they have loads of other things they say to achieve the same effect.
3. They both have their favourites
Nigerian parents will never admit that they like one of their children more than the other, but the signs are always there. Nigerian lecturers are slightly less subtle in this area — you will know the student they genuinely have a soft spot for.
4. Gadgets and phones make them feel some kind of way
Both Nigerian parents and lecturers genuinely believe that your phone is ruining your life. Your parents will blame your phone for your headaches, the lecturers will blame it for your grades or something else that suits their agenda.
5. They love to tell hilarious stories about their past
Nigerian parents love to tell stories about their glory days of coming out the top of their class. Nigerian lecturers will tell you stories about how things were more ‘difficult’ during their time at the university. They do it for the same reason — they hope these stories will inspire you to do better. Uhm, if only most of them are true.
Well, I guess the average lecturer is someone’s parent too. That should explain it.