7 Places Your CGPA Does NOT Matter

July 23, 2020

I know we talked about helping you study here, but then life is hard, so it is time to remind you of places your CGPA does not matter

1) HEAVEN

Heaven is the ultimate goal right? And in the place of eternal rest, no problems or troubles. CGPA is a man made thing and has no space there. Can I get an Amen?

2) HELL

See, heaven is tough. Did they not say it is a narrow road? If you make it to hell, then there is good news for you. CGPA does not matter there either! You will be too busy with the eternal damnation and gnashing of teeth to bother anyways.

3) SUYA JOINT

Do you have money? Extra Onions or cabbage? Those are the only things your suya man actually cares about. Your CGPA only matters when its on paper, and if that is the paper you want him to wrap your suya in.

4) INSIDE BUS

coronavirus in Nigeria

First class only happens on planes and GIG Motors. Danfo does not care about that. Danfo is a democracy. For the people, by the people. All people are welcome, except those that do not hold their change.

5) MARKET

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You will sweat, be pushed and be harassed. Is that the place you want to be speaking big English? LMAO.

6) PRISON

What you need here is the ability to share a room with a lot of people, and eat very small portions, and physical labour. It reminds us of boarding school. The good days.

7) ATM QUEUE

At the ATM it is every person for themself, and God for us all. Try to jump the queue and tell them it is because you graduated University with a 4.3. Your beating will be swift and powerful.

School and all the other things that come with it can be really stressful. Try following us on Twitter for content that will calm your nerves, and so you can find more people that relate to your struggles.

Itohan Esekheigbe

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