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Be an IG baddie
IG is for photos and reels only. On Threads, you can become a thought leader on top of all the slaying.
Become friends with Zuck
We all know it’s Zuck’s app and he makes the rules. Become friends with him and start engaging with his posts. People will notice you because nepotism always wins.
Aggressively share relationship tips
People love love, and they love the people who teach them how to do it right. Become a virtual dating coach and see how many followers you get.
Start an FC fight
Threads is in its early days, so there’s no Wizkid FC yet. You can lead the charge by creating some division. Call Davido a new cat and watch how fast you blow.
Pretend you’re Elon Musk
Everyone knows Elon Musk is salty about the existence of Threads, so no one expects him to sign up. That’s your cue to rise to the occasion and pretend to be him for a while. Before people find out, you’re already popular.
Ask a silly question
We all hope Threads is an escape from the silliness of Twitter, but that’s where you come in. You’ll play devil’s advocate by constantly asking silly questions like, “Who should pay on the first date?” Your folk will find you in no time.
NEXT READ: A Zikoko Masterclass: How To Find A Husband In 30 Minutes
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Zikoko walks into a big corner office in Meta’s HQ and sees Threads lounging in a big seat.
Threads: Welcome!
Zikoko looks around the office.
Threads: You like it, right? It’s mine.
Zikoko: Is it?
Threads: I have my own computer and chair, and look at my coffee station.
Zikoko looks at what Threads is pointing at — a tray with 3-in-1 coffee sachets, two plastic cups and a hot water flask.
Zikoko: So you left Twitter for…
Threads flies out of her executive chair and shuts the door.
Threads: Don’t say that name here.
Zikoko: But that’s your former employer.
Threads: Please, the fact that people make a couple threads on that app doesn’t mean anything. I’m my own boss now.
Zikoko: You answer to Instagram and Meta, so technically, you’re not.
Threads:
Did they send you?
Zikoko: Who?
Threads: (whispers) Twitter.
Zikoko:
Threads: 30 million sign ups in less than 24 hours is not beans o. They must be astonished by my good fortune.
Zikoko: Okay, that was actually impressive. How did you do that?
Threads:
What can I say? The work speaks for itself.
Zikoko:
Threads: Look, it’s not my fault that app is going to shit. I didn’t tell anybody to put a daily limit on tweets or to make videos stop in the middle and start playing from the top again. I didn’t ask anyone to make their app glitch. It just did.
Zikoko: The app started to behave one kind sha.
Threads: Okay, you too you’re seeing it. That’s why I made my app. It’s a safe space for all who are tired of that mess. You already know the people on the app. You just have to sign in and… thread?
Zikoko:
Thread: Tread carefully.
Zikoko:
Threads: Yeah, me neither. Sew?
Zikoko: It’s not the worst. But “Tweet” still sounds better sha.
Threads: I’ll think up something better later.
Zikoko: You should.
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It’s been over 24 hours since Mark Zuckerberg’s text-based app, Threads, went live, and that’s enough time to see what the app is really about.
Is it worth the hype? Should you completely port from Twitter? What are the perks? In no particular order, let’s get into it.
No DMs
A win for Twitter here. However, knowing Zuckerberg, he’s probably developing a different messenger app for Threads, just like he did for Facebook.
You need an IG account
At the moment, there’s no option to create an account when you launch the app. You can only log in with an existing Instagram account.
Picture/video quality
You don’t have to worry about the quality of your JPEGs or videos. The app retains original quality after uploading media.
Share threads to your IG story/feed
You can share your posts from the Threads app to your Instagram feed or story. However, when you share to your story, the link is not clickable.
Share threads to Twitter
The app also allows you to share Threads to your Twitter timeline. Interesting.
No hashtags yet
The hashtag feature isn’t functional on the app at the moment. There’s also no trend table to keep tab of trending topics.
Follower count
Threads does not show the number of people you’re following but shows the number of followers you have.
No Ads
The app is a complete no-ads land right now, but that might change soon, knowing how Meta moves on their other platforms.
Verification
There’s no option to apply for a verification badge at the moment. However, users who are verified on Instagram are automatically verified when they join.
Take breaks
Is Mark trying to say something about social media addiction? Anyway, Threads allows you to take breaks after spending time on the app. You’ll get a reminder to close the app when it’s time to take your break.
Save pictures
There’s no option to save media on the app right now. You can only take screenshots and make screen recordings.
Can’t delete Threads account
Right now, you’ll be deleting your Instagram account if you try to delete your Threads account. However, the app allows you to deactivate your profile.
No edits
Zuckerberg might be pulling an Elon Musk move here and planning to include an edit option in a paid version. Fingers crossed.
500 character limit
This is a significant boost from Twitter’s 280 character limit. Zuckerberg said: Thread away!
Hide like count
Just like Instagram, Threads allows you to hide the like count on your posts.
Hide comments
Threads allows you to hide unwanted comments on your posts from followers and other users on the app.
Follow anyone on Instagram
There’s an icon in the profile section that allows you to follow new people or Threads users on Instagram.
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Elon Musk’s recent shakedown on Twitter sent users running to Donald Trump’s Truth Social, but a new competitor, Threads, has joined the conversation.
Source: The Guardian
Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta released Threads; an alternative to Twitter. As usual, Nigerians are already setting up camp in the Thread-verse and doing the things Nigerians do. The follow-trains have started and the catfishers are trying to get their follower-count up. God, abeg. While we can deal with these behaviours on Twitter, it’s going to be shege pro-max to experience the same on Threads.
Follow for Follow
Almost everybody on Twitter NG wants that influencer bag but can we relax for a moment? That follow-train business should stop on Twitter. Threads allows you to automatically import your Instagram followers to the app, so maybe get your instagram following up.
IFB
This can be so annoying, especially when you’re trying to get to the root of a trending gist in the comments. Zuckerberg should better have a Threads-jail to deal with the human bots fond of this spammy behaviour.
Catfishing
This is rampant on Twitter. The play is, men create accounts, use pictures of random pretty girls with the aim of gaining new followers and even gifts from thirsty men. Threads is in its early days, so better look before you leap so you don’t get catfished.
Fan wars
They were pretty funny in the beginning days but things have gotten so toxic these days. Tweet an opinion about an artist and his minions will have your neck for it. It’s possible to love an artist and still criticize their work, please.
Hijacking trending topics
Imagine seeing Davido on the trend table only to click and see posts about perfume oil, ewa aganyin, ring light, etc. God abeg. We don’t need the vendors and small business owners bringing this behaviour to Threads.
Ratio count
If you’ve been long enough on Twitter you’ll be familiar with the words “Touch this ratio”. It’s a passive aggressive way of ignoring a smelling take, or one that just doesn’t align with popular opinion. It’s giving “cyberbullying” and we don’t want that in a new space.
False retweet alarms
Twitter influencers do this when they need engagement on their tweets. They jump on a trending story, make a post about it and add “Retweet Aggressively” like we can’t tell it’s the engagement they want. Please and respectfully, nothing of such on Threads.
Daniel Regha
Twitter NG users have accepted Daniel Regha as the monster they made. Hopefully he doesn’t port to Threads and choke us with his unwarranted opinions on everything. Actually, knowing Regha, he’s probably criticizing Threads on Threads already.
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It’s true that landlords living in the same house as their tenants can be a bad idea — this was the case over the weekend when Elon Musk gave his Twitter tenants a hard shakedown and sent them running to sign up on Truth Social, another social media app.
In the middle of the chaos, some Nigerians remembered Nairaland and how it could have been the social media app that’ll save us. They might have been onto something because what can Truth Social offer that Nairaland cannot? But wait, let’s start from the beginning.
What is Truth Social?
Released in 2020, Truth social is former US president, Donald Trump’s social media app heavily modelled after Twitter. Think of it as a clone that gives you a watered-down Twitter experience. On Truth Social, you rethruth instead of retweet, share a truth (instead of a tweet) and like a truth.
What is Nairaland?

Founded by Seun Osenwa, Nairaland is a Nigerian internet forum where users interact and have discussions on any topic. It’s like a Nigerian version of Reddit.
They are both public online platforms

Truth Social and Nairaland allows users to interact freely and banter over a wide range of subjects like music, movies, sex, relationships, health etc.
They both suck at design

If you’re snubbing Nairaland for the design, just save yourself the trouble because Truth Social isn’t all that either. Remember how confusing Twitter’s interface was like 10 years ago?
Free speech is not free speech

Donald Trump might have promised free speech on his platform, but inflammatory takes on the can get you shadowbanned. Nairaland also has a moderation system in place that puts a gag on users who move weird.
Follow for follow

Both platforms allow you to grow your network of online followers, especially if you’re looking to secure that influencer bag. Why did you abandon Nairaland again?
Meme land

Some of the most chaotic Nollywood memes on Twitter NG spilled over from Nairaland, so Truth will have to sit this one out. The memes are great and all, but they definitely don’t compare to Seun Osenwa’s multiverse.
Take it to the DM

Again, Nairaland comes through if your plan is to flirt in the DMs. But unlike Truth Social where you can send an actual DM, you’ll be sending mail. Who cares, though? Communication is communication.
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Every week, Zikoko will share the hustle stories of Nigerians making it big in and out of the country. With each story, we’ll ask one crucial question in several ways: “How you do am?”
Toyosi Godwin’s hustle story gave insights into how he built a community on Twitter and unlocked an income stream through social media influencing. If you’re curious about what building a career as a social media influencer involves, this guide will help you.

Image: Pexels
First off, what does a social media influencer do?
It’s pretty self-explanatory. The social media influencer’s job is to influence the decisions of their followers or community, especially purchasing decisions.
Being an influencer isn’t just a job, though. It’s a lifestyle that hinges on popularity and a committed following. Those are factors necessary to get people to do what you want them to do.
For example, you probably wouldn’t buy slimming tea from a danfo vendor, mainly because you don’t know or trust the vendor. But if your favourite influencer were to come online and swear by the product, you might have a change of heart. Why? You were influenced.
What does it take to become an influencer?
First, a committed following, and that doesn’t mean just being popular. You may go viral — and even gain followers — every two weeks by tweeting controversial takes, but fame doesn’t equal an ability to influence the decision of others. That’s done by:
- Building trust: People need to feel like they can either relate to or trust that they know you enough to listen to you.
- Having a niche: What’s that one thing you’re really good at and can talk about forever without getting tired? That’s your niche. This is important, as it helps the influencer to build authority in their field and earn a committed following. If followers know, for example, that you know all there is to know about fashion, they’re more likely to buy a fashion item just because you recommended it.
RELATED: The Grass to Grace #NairaLife of a Social Media Influencer
So, how do you become a successful influencer?
Once you’ve cracked your niche and following, a couple of skills are necessary to maintain your community.
- Storytelling and content creation: It’s important to note that it’s not only about how often you post on social media; quality also matters. How, when, and what are you posting? Are you selling the content in a way that appeals to and evokes some type of action in your audience?
A successful influencer doesn’t just post for the sake of it. You’ll need to pay attention to content strategy, the algorithm of the social media platform in use, and the specific audience.
- Social listening: This involves analysing online conversations and considering how they could affect your brand and audience. The ultimate goal is to understand the underlying sentiment on social media and respond with a marketing strategy that influences that sentiment favourably, ensuring your visibility.
- Consistency: Followers must know they can trust you to show up regularly. You might want to invest all your money in a telecom company because you’ll always need to be online.
- Search engine optimisation: Before you ask, isn’t it just social media? It’s not. You want considerable views on every content you put out, and a knowledge of SEO will ensure you explore the right keyword and push out content that keeps you at the top of people’s minds.
- Community engagement: A large part of social media influencing is trust, and that’s gotten through engaging with your followers. Don’t just post and go. You’re not Beyoncé.
How do you make money as an influencer?
This is typically done through:
- Brand endorsements: One common denominator for influencers is that they have many loyal fans who trust them. Brands use this leverage to make their products appealing by paying these influencers to sign on as ambassadors.
- Affiliate marketing: You know how Instagram skit makers include referral codes in their videos for a particular product or service? That’s affiliate marketing. When people buy the product/service with a referral code, the influencer gets a commission.
- Sponsored advertisements: This typically involves written or video content by an influencer directly marketing a product or service. In this method, the brand pays the influencer an agreed amount — usually determined by the influencer’s rate card — for the sponsored post.
Usually, the number of followers and social media reach an influencer has determines how much they can charge brands for ads.
Maintain the trajectory
An influencer’s work is never done. Social media algorithms and rules change, so it’s important to stay updated and constantly reinvent yourself to remain visible and relevant. It’s also helpful to follow other influencers to learn from them and possibly form partnerships that help your visibility even more.
NEXT READ: Mechanics Can Also Be Ballers. Here’s How You Can Become One

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You might see free money
We know you don’t want to go out because you’re broke. But what if you step out and find money on the road? Have you thought about that? You’ll probably turn to yam but that’s not on us sha.
You can finally take that social media break
You’ve been saying you’ll take a Twitter break for ages. This is an opportunity to do it. Why are you complaining?
You can finally get over your ex
You’re stalking them everyday because you’re always on your phone and you see their posts all the time. Block them, go outside and meet new people.
You might find love
Go outside and meet people. At least one of them will like you.
You can finally have a career
They say you need 10,000 hours to become an expert at anything. You’ve probably put in that much time tweeting and arguing online. Isn’t it time you dropped your phone and focused all that time on your career? Maybe you’ll finally get that promotion you’ve been eyeing.
Your anger levels will reduce
When you go out and spend an arm and a leg on transport fare, you’ll be too tired to get angry at people on the internet.
Also read: When last did you touch grass?
You can have content for your social media
Even if you must stay online, at least go out so you can have something to show the internet too. You don’t want to be dumping memes only when you could be dumping lit pictures at the end of every month.
QUIZ: When Last Did You Touch Grass?
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There’s a common belief that all Nigerian men do is drink, smoke and womanise. We’re not sure how this became such a widely-held concept, but with the way Yoruba men move, we understand.
However, there’s more to them than booze and women, so we made a list of other things Nigerian men hold dear.
Football
Okay, this one’s a little obvious, but did you know this game has saved lives and relationships? Thanks to football, girlfriends now have nothing to worry about because they’re sure only UEFA games keep us late outside.

Zikoko Memes Visiting friends
Haven’t you heard that a man’s friend’s home is a home away from home?

Zikoko Memes Board games
Nothing beats the banter Nigerian men throw while playing chess or ludo. And in case you don’t know, we learn to strategise by playing ayo.
Vigorous fitness
It’s more than just lifting iron and staying fit; it’s a lifestyle. Going to the gym is actually very addictive.

Zikoko Memes RELATED: How to Not Get a 6 Pack, According to a Gym Bro Who’s Tried It All
Betting
If we love football, why can’t we make money from it? Who doesn’t want to become a millionaire overnight?

Zikoko Memes Driving
Sightseeing, clearing the head, discovering new areas or just driving like we’re a character in Fast X. We love it all.

Zikoko Memes Infinite scrolling through social media
Some of us live for scrolling endlessly on Instagram and Twitter, we live for monthly dumps and banter.

Zikoko Memes Have you heard Zikoko HERtitude 2023 — the hottest women-only party — is happening at Ikoyi on May 27? Get your ticket here.

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Snapchat
“At least, we’re not OnlyFans”
“You can now cheat in peace”
“Watch your sins disappear”

Twitter
“Leave your happiness at the door”
“We’re all human, but sometimes, we turn some people to Tiger gen”

Facebook
“Where all your parents’ Whatsapp BCs come from”
“We have all your embarrassing throwback pictures”

Pinterest
“Feed your delusions”
“Pretend you’re creative”
“Steal and call it inspiration”

YouTube
“The university that never strikes”

Netflix
“We’re just an excuse to commit sin”
“The chill is silent”

Instagram
“What is real life?”
“You will buy something by force”

WhatsApp
“For family and friends”

TikTok
“The cure for depression”
“You want to be productive? LMAO!”

NEXT READ: Just Imagine: If Nigerian Universities Had Honest Slogans
Don’t leave without getting your ticket to HERtitude 2023!

