Zikoko walks into a big corner office in Meta’s HQ and sees Threads lounging in a big seat.
Threads: Welcome!
Zikoko looks around the office.
Threads: You like it, right? It’s mine.
Zikoko: Is it?
Threads: I have my own computer and chair, and look at my coffee station.
Zikoko looks at what Threads is pointing at — a tray with 3-in-1 coffee sachets, two plastic cups and a hot water flask.
Zikoko: So you left Twitter for…
Threads flies out of her executive chair and shuts the door.
Threads: Don’t say that name here.
Zikoko: But that’s your former employer.
Threads: Please, the fact that people make a couple threads on that app doesn’t mean anything. I’m my own boss now.
Zikoko: You answer to Instagram and Meta, so technically, you’re not.
Threads:
Did they send you?
Zikoko: Who?
Threads: (whispers) Twitter.
Zikoko: ![](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/Rjk-Jzo6cMgo_-9dRA5xO531a_Fx6JP_fWQHVzKuS4_lxoEedSRJ_n4tW4lE8aD7_f-G7CP876svgyPG-b5r1JsQoOhygf31udjGtl2oRtf1qMPCDUR1V5gAHn0A4ky-2xY3WOPZSDRr4bGo62yECfU)
Threads: 30 million sign ups in less than 24 hours is not beans o. They must be astonished by my good fortune.
Zikoko: Okay, that was actually impressive. How did you do that?
Threads:
What can I say? The work speaks for itself.
Zikoko: ![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/iMUYuAME9wxwFfV_h0rqKT3eeq_AwzkSkaT37rHrC8E391J32RGrOAUZgrRrPTUmeqWziVv6F9JjbB2QVTuqwryc5O7Fn8jkE4Ek5_ti0aUReWpN5JcNslgJspN16Q6zqR-pNT5vNQGwAPs_pIvxb-Y)
Threads: Look, it’s not my fault that app is going to shit. I didn’t tell anybody to put a daily limit on tweets or to make videos stop in the middle and start playing from the top again. I didn’t ask anyone to make their app glitch. It just did.
Zikoko: The app started to behave one kind sha.
Threads: Okay, you too you’re seeing it. That’s why I made my app. It’s a safe space for all who are tired of that mess. You already know the people on the app. You just have to sign in and… thread?
Zikoko: ![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/_ipkkYzhf2VEDGCbvSURupJdFGJpwzlj_-oBaN4K_-5Ia6EBi6Hakn73dbjkHJ48ORrfiBKdZUgwA883vN8iYQZhA2ofbpQxoeN1eeHohFVJjXVDY2_EWOwPm8hQ0LdUUV8m-2FsHjQMovLkK4-JlC8)
Thread: Tread carefully.
Zikoko: ![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/pYzW83jSQDiZKAOPAdfW4-MsgFRUnPLl2_HBF6rQi899RCR0Jz_OBKHZBaR1ZXfWB8aV-udWELIoTYQX335oLe3NE7JcXPXCUdHxZxfVRww3zSYQWgaVCS6562nekPvxtov-7mdEwHVrPtbX1soOMDY)
Threads: Yeah, me neither. Sew?
Zikoko: It’s not the worst. But “Tweet” still sounds better sha.
Threads: I’ll think up something better later.